This Place

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 Richard: I’m going to level with you here. I don’t know who I am or where I am.

Christo: That’s fine, dude. You’ll figure it out as you go along.
Richard: But I want to know right now.
Christo: Oh, man you need to stop expecting instant answers, man. Just, you know, chill out and relax and take life as it comes. You know what I’m saying?
Richard: I have no clue. You sound stoned out of your mind. How much have you smoked so far?
Christo: Oh, dude, you don’t know what you’re talking about, do you? You have no idea. You don’t know the score as I and all the people here do. The earth is gone. This is the new place.
Richard: But I don’t want a new place, I liked the earth place.
Christo: Just chill out, man. Chill. Chill.
Richard: I am getting mad here.
Christo: I see that, boy. You need to calm it. Just simmer down and let us take care of everything. We’ll make all of this make sense to you in time, you just have to be patient. I know you humans have this idea that you know more than everyone else, and you believe that although the world is full of misery and injustice that it’s as good as it’s going to get as long as it exists…. But let me tell you something… but not yet. Sharon! Come meet our latest arrival.
Sharon: You must be Richard. It’s a pleasure to meet you.
Richard: What is this place?
Sharon: It’s nameless. Ageless. Sexless. No name, no description, no reason. It’s a place full of eternal happiness and a need not to possess understanding and faith to be happy.
Richard: What the Hell? No… This….. What kind of a game is this you’re trying to play with me…… It…. I…… Don’t…….. Understa………….
Sharon: Would you like OJ or Chocolate Milk?
Richard: I don’t care for either.
Sharon: You’re lying to yourself. I’ll get you a glass of both.
Christo: People lie to themselves a lot at first. You won’t always do that . It takes time though. Instant gratification doesn’t even exist in a perfect place.
Richard: I’m not even going to honor that nonsensical statement with a response….. Okay let me get this straight…. Am I dead or something
Christo: Oh, man, I have no idea what your situation is. I only know you’re with us now and we’re very glad that’s the case. You’re very annoying and chances are you’ll be a Prick for a long time, but we’ve dealt with much worse than you. Bill O’Reilly stayed with us for 75 years our time… and he never learned to tell the truth once. What an a*****e. We sent him back to earth eventually…. If they knew we existed they’d be really pissed. Larry King was here for a while too but somehow he managed to be married thirteen times in a perfect place where divorce is impossible… He’s some kind of superman. Anyway, you’re not a celebrity so we have all the faith in the world that you’ll be just fine.
Richard: Are you gods or something? Can you see into the future? Do you believe…..
Christo: I just smoke and drink a lot. But the others may be such things. I wonder what happened to Sharon with your OJ and Chocolate Milk.
Richard: Maybe she decided to have a romp with Caligula
Christo: Well, Caligula turned out to be a very sane and generous lover. He and I had a relationship for nearly 6,000 years.
Richard: Wow. Very impressive. What calmed him down?
Christo: I’d assume a place free of insanity, greed and power. All are equals and no one cares who is the best or most powerful at anything. Such things here are not at all important. Because at the end of any given day who cares that you’re smarter someone, that you’re more athletic or agile. What is it with you human beings that you guys have to make everything a competition and a way to validate yourselves as being worthwhile and s**t? Couldn’t you just try a novel concept and love everyone, and look for the good in every person instead of coming up with reasons for why you are more valuable than other people. It’s very sad that all of you are snobbish or insecure that you really detach yourselves from everyone else because you are so fearful of not being the most important person in the entire universe. If I am wrong on any of these points, and you wish to debate me on any of these points, feel free to do so. I’ve been doing this for thousands of years I’m sure I can think of a counterarguments to yours. Yours will be full of “But I really am better than tramps and bums and murderers and rapists and pedophiles and every kind of criminal. I am more worthwhile that all the social outcasts and the misfits and the failures and the losers.” And my counterarguments will be: “Why just because you were fortunate enough to land a nice job and meet a few people in your life that give a s**t whether you live or die?” Believe me you are no better nor worse than any other person in the world. You’re unique, you’re special, you’re important but do not begin to develop any more thoughts of delusions of grandeur. I don’t care how much money you make. How often your name appears in the newspaper. How many people want your autograph or want to kiss you or marry you, or want to live with you. At the end of the day you are a person like all the other people, and you make tons of mistakes, act cowardly, can be selfish and manipulative and petty and self-righteous and ungrateful. So please do not attempt to describe to any of us here the reasons as to why you believe you have transcended so many other people. You could help these people instead of feelkingh superior or feeling a load of pity for them. See them for the rare creatures they are, show them you care by talking to them and making it aware that you care whether they live or die, and value their opinions and insights into any number of things.
Richard: Could I talk to someone else? Perhaps someone who isn’t strung out on drugs?
Christo: Sure. Nathan, it’s your turn to talk to our friend Richard.
Nathan: Sure thing. The Jacuzzi is ready for you.
Christo: Thanks. I’ll see you guys later.
Nathan: Hi, Richard. I’m Nathan. What would you like help with?
Richard: Where is my OJ and Chocolate Milk.
Nathan: Oh haha. Well I’m sure it’s coming. Often people don’;t get what they want here until they know what they actually need. Old cliché, huh? It sure is but we really are an idealistic sort of place. We want there to be an end to all selfishness and cynicism. Some of the people who come here actually end up being happy and spread their joy to as many people as they can…. But some people have allowed their hearts to become so hardened that they no longer have any shot at being happy in their liobves because all their bitterness keeps them safe from being hurt by other people. That’s what anger always comes down to. People escaping intimacy and care because they’re afraid that if they get close to anyone they will inevitably lose it because they’re just not very good or fun people to have around. Obviously they just can’t accept the fact that they could be loved…. The fact that they are not unwanted or worthless…. They don’t need to be angry and volatile all the time… if they would just be who they could be people might come to want to befriend them and love them as much as they would anyone else.
Richard: You don’t understand the first thing about being angry. I was born angry. I was born… dissatisfied with… um, well, everything. See- the world- where I was- was never enough- It was not as wonderful a place as church attempted to make it out to be- Or Disney Land did for that matter- God, there’s a place I wish I could go back to. It was most assuredly a Xanadu on earth. I love it. I wish I could go again. But- Now I’m here. Where is here? Does it have a name? I just wanted some OJ and Chocolate Milk. I didn’t end up here to discover the meaning of life- Life is too busy and complicated to even worry about it having a reason. You do what you have to do for whatever reasons you have to do with them and you come to accept that it doesn’t always make much sense and that love is perhaps a load of crock- but you’ll learn to be content and happy in other ways- such as by developing a few hobbies or having a few friends you can shoot the s**t with from time to time or when you’re feeling down or blue. But, honestly you’ll never really…. Be……. I’m drawing a blank…….. I’ve forgotten my line---------------------
Nathan: The lines are not important. You can never say the wrong thing. You worry too much. You worry too much about what others think of you. You do realize that you have allowed your entire life to be run by other people? That’s why you’ve been doing the things you’ve been doing. You’;ve never been yourself. You have felt pathetic when you have been yourself. But there is nothing wrong with the way you actually are, but at this point you no longer no who you actually are because you have been a people pleaser which is why you have such shallow, nonexistent friendships and your relationships have been… so empty and hollow.
Richard: I will not…. I cannot…. I don’t want to…. But….. Damn what the Hell have I been doing with my life over all these years? Have I done anything that actually mattered? Of course not because I wasn’t really interested in it. Technically I’ve made tons of money but none of it has meant anything because I didn’t care about it… Not really. Completely wasted. Completely without use or purpose or anything. I have been a total washot, haven’t I? Why can’t I find something that passes for truth or for understanding…. Or above all else, Love? I love love, but could anyone ever love a man who is so needy and so obsessed with receieving assurance every thirty seconds. To love and be loved in return… I suppose perhaps at some point in my life I had those sort of friendships but they have seemed to disappear, they always leave and I’m all alone in the world again. I want my first love… The first girl I kissed. The first girl I held… the first girl I spent a night with and for the first time in my life made me feel I was more than just a normal, boring, dull, worthless, brainless, horny, dependent sort of guy. The first girl who truly enjoyed spending time with me… the first one who said “I love you” to me. The first girl who ever gave the impression that even if our relationship didn’t work out, that we would be best friends forever. Can I see her?
Christo: You know you can’t. She doesn’t want to see you. You blew that one because you were so obsessed with showing her, telling her that you loved her you never bothered to trust that she loved you for who you were- not for all the nice gestutres, all the nice gifts, all the assurances and declarations of love you gave her. She knew you loved her and she was happy, but you had to remind her so she could remind you… you never simply trusted your love for each other… you shouldn’t have needed proof but your entitre life has been built around doubt… that is why you are now residing in this perfect land and you cannot be happy still. You have everything you need and desire here but you can’t see it because you are paral;yxed by fear and oppression and despair and an obsession on the past. Think of the great authors of the 20th century… they were all obsessed with the past which led them to alcohol and broken relationships… although you’re not an alcoholic, none of your relationships have ever been a success because you are paralyzed by your past where you were rejected and replaced so many times by so many people. You must trust that those who love you, really do. And you love them. You have nothing to prove anymore. Be yourself that’s all you have to do and you will be happy, you will be prosperous, you might even come to embrace life.
Richard: But…. Why can’t I?
Christo: I can’t answer everything for you. I want to but I can only do so much.
Richard: Where is my orange juice and chocolate milk?
Christo: Soon enough. Soon enough.
Sharon: Here’s your grapefruit juice.
Richard: But-
Sharon: I know but this is what you get. This isn’t really a perfect place. You’ll be as miserable and confused here as you were anywhere else.
Richard: Wait is this-
Sharon and Christo: Don’t worry about it. Just drink what you don’t want. That’s what you’ve always done.
Richard: Oh my God
Christo: No God, friend. No God at all.

(End.)

Reviews

[Crowley]

LOL...I really enjoyed this, started out as the inside of a Ford Econoline van at Woodstock and careened off the edge somewhere along the road to end up in hell. Great dialogue, some of the longer pieces were a little tedious, breaking them up a little more might be good. The info in the longer parts was good, and I suppose they could be broken up with action since this is a stage play. Very funny, very well written, I loved it.

[Senseless whatever]

Another good write. I may suggest breaking it up a bit just to make it an easier read. Otherwise good job.

[See_What_Unfolds]

This is good. I like it.