Listening

A Stage Play by Forgotten and Loved

Jake: (enters the room in a hurried fashion because something life-alternating is happening. Or is it?) KAREN! Karen

Karen: (offstage) What?

Jake: Where are you?

Karen: Leaving

Jake: huh?

Karen: You heard me

Jake: No

Karen: (enters) I’m leaving. We’re done

Jake: huh

Karen: Good-bye

Jaker: huh?

Karen: You’ll never listen (Leaves)

Jake: (Looks around) Great. Another woman has left. But why? No matter. I shall cry then move on. (cries, bemoaning the hurt and the pain and the torment. He knocks over a chair. He falls upon the sofa and punches the pillow, baring his soul to an empty room. Suddenly “Alone Again Naturally” begins playing. He suddenly stops) Where is that comingh from? Who’s here? Who is here to torment me more? Do you know no mercy? I have been through Hell and back. I don’t deserve this. Why me?! Why me? (The music stops.) Whatever. They always leave. Always will.

(A masked man runs in)

Masked man: Is your name Jake

Jake: Ummm… Ye…. No! No it’s not

Masked: Yes it is

Jake: How did you know

Masked: I have my ways

Jake: What ways

Masked: You’re not getting any answers

Jake: About whaty

Masked: Silence!

Jake: Fine I’ll be silent

Masked: You’re still talking

Jake: What do you want!

Masked: Calm down! Don’t yell at me. Geez you have no social skills

Jake: What have you come for

Masked: ummm……. Well…. (proudces a note from his pocket.) I’m not sure, but it says here “Hello! My name is The Masked Man” Geez, that name sucks. “Voila!” what the heck? “I am a mysterious fellow who is here to deliver to you a nonsensical message of importance and romance

Jake: Romance? The chick I was shacking up with just left me with a brokenheart. Plus a guy in the grocery store today crashed into me with his grocery cart, and didn’t even apologize. The guy was a little creep. Then you know what else happened? I’ll tell you what else happened…

Masked Man: Silence! I must continue this note!

Jake: Why? Do you have anything to tell me

Masked: Well, I don’t know Jake./… I haven’t had time to read thie entire note

Jake: You don’t even know what you’re here to tell me

Masked: You know what, jerk off, I’ll….. (they square up to fight)

(Suddenly, Max enters)

Max: I’m Max. What’s this tomfoolery that’s going on?

Masked: Oh, boss, nice to see ya!

Max: What are you doing, numbnuts

Masked: Well

Max: Take your mask off

Maskewd: (takes his mask off. He is revealed to be a childhood friend of Jake)

Jake: Robby! How ya been!

Robby: Oh, Jake Kross! Man, I didn’t know thaty was you. Hey! (they embrace) Wow, man you used to be skinny, now look at how fat and pathetic you loiok. What hapopened? You still a virgin? Or are ya gay? I know if you’re gay the gays have much lower standards. That’s true, yeah?

Jake: You know, I remember I didn’t care for you. Get out of my house

Max: Hey! I’m his boss I’ll tell him when to leave

Jake: Shut it, Max. My house, my rules.

Max: Oh yeah?

Jake: Yeah

Max: Oh yeah?

Jake: Yeah

Max: Oh Yeah

Robby: I’m gone (Leaves.)

Jake: Well I guess we don’t have to come to blows now.

Max: Wait….

Jake: What?

Max: Never mind

Jake: No. It must be something. Otherwise you wouldn’t have said wait.

Max: People say wait all the time just for the sake of it.

Jake: yeah you’re right. I know sometimes I say “Hey I feel like a buttmucher” just for the sake ofg it

Max: You know what, dicksplitter, that’s just stupid.. I mean, how does that relate to a man merely saying wait to fill in a silence

Jake: There was no silence, you d….

Max: Enough!

(Robby re-enters)

Robby: Oh, hey, guys. Yeah. I guess I left my cigs in here.

Max: You don’t smoke

Robby: You sure?

Maxc: You’re allergic

Robby: You sure?

Max: No I’m just saying it for the sake of it

Jake: Here we go

Max: Herwe we go what

Jake: Now you’re trying to prove a point by using this poor idiot for it

Robby: You know what, Jake! I’m sickj of ya. Yeah I hadn’t seen ya since we were 6 years old but as soon as you recognized me, and told me who ya were, I suddenly thought “Man, what a fat sack of garbage this guy has become. Well, he always was, but geezx, man, does he actually think any woman would ever wanna suck that….”

Max: So do you smoke or not?

Robby: huh? Oh…… Ummm… No I don’t think so……. Ya see I got lonely. And I have no other friends. So uh, you two interested

Max and Jake: Get out

Robby: Yeah. What makes you two so much better?

Max: Get out

Jake: I’ll throw you out

Robby: You’re too fat to waddle over here and do it, Jake Kross

Jake: My last name is Krose

Robby: Oh my God I’m so far off. Time to burn me at the stake!

Max: You’re fired

Robby: From what? I don’ty actually work for you

Max: But….

Robby: Nope! I was undercover.

Max: Then……

(Karen re-enters)

Karen: hello, boys. (She walks up to Robby and throws her arms around him) Well, Jake Krose, this is my new man. I love him. And no one will ever love you

Jake: But why? Why!

Karen: Havr uou ever listened to yourself talk or interact

Jake: But what about him! He’s much worse than I am

Karen: Pffttt.. No. Just no. Now get out, Max and Jake

Jake: This is my place!

Karen: Yeah. No. Robby and I have bought you out

Jake: How!

Karen: Oh, interesting. Here’s how we did it.

(Robby grabs Jake and throws him out the window)

Robby: Done

Karen: You sure he’s dead?

Robby: Dead enough