I was really glad it wasn't cold out, yet. I had one of my heavier sweaters on, and my backpack snugly fit on my shoulder. I stood by the class door and waited patiently for the bell to ring.
Mrs. Campbell was sitting at her desk, talking to one of the school's infamous brown-nosers, Jake. Mrs. Campbell was our math instructor, and we were studying statistical data among micro-groups of society. Micro-groups were just social groups; so based on my group of friends, 2 out of 4 were smokers.
Although she was great teacher, Mrs. Campbell saw no point in teaching the class for the last five minutes of the period. She knew everyone's attention span would start to wane, and she gave up combatting it.
I leaned against the wall, ignoring the comments the jocks of the class were making. Jake was cute, and had tried to get with me shortly before school got out for summer last semester. Not only did I not like his personality for being a total suck up, but his eagerness to please me was almost sickening.
I realized long ago that if I were to be in a relationship with someone, I would prefer a versatile role of dominance between us. I could not dominate all the time, but I certainly did not want to be completely submissive. There are times when I need to know someone is there to help me, and my Gramma has played that protective role since my mom started working.
When the bell rang, the door was already open. The girls of the class seemed to think they were in control of the world, and were already halfway down the hall.
I didn't need to stop by my locker, so I took the shorter way to the front of the school. I squeezed myself through a crowd of students, who conveniently decided the middle of the hallway was a great place to huddle, and I crashed right into a red sweater.
I looked up and saw two hazel eyes. I then saw the brown wavy hair, fair skin, and goofy grin. I felt my cheeks go slightly warm and I tried to move around him, but he moved right back in my way.
"Come on, Trev," he said, stepping a little closer to me. "I'm trying to get to my locker. I have to be at work in a half hour."
I looked at him, "Dude, I'm meeting someone right in a few minutes, so I need to get around you. Move, please."
Without another word, the dude moved aside. I thanked him quietly and kept moving. When I first met him in my freshman year, I had acquired a strong physical attraction toward him, and he knew it. When I saw his vain arrogance, I couldn't stand being around him, and I hated my physical attraction even more.
He confessed his attraction to me about a month after we first met, and he has since then taken every opportunity to talk to me. And I have since taken every opportunity to run away from him. This wasn't any different from the other situations.
I got outside and immediately began to scan the area for one of the guys. I didn't see any of them, but I saw Chase standing alone to the side of the crowd.
I hesitated for a moment, then began to approach him. I was sure he saw me coming, because he began to tense up a little more than he has first appeared. By the time I reached him, he was nervously staring at the ground. I wanted to turn around and wait for my friends alone, but I kept standing.
"Hey." I said. Nothing more came out of my mouth, I wanted to see if he would respond to me. My stomach felt tight — I felt like I was walking through a field of land mines.
I suppose I forgot he was a mute, because I was waiting for a response. When his eyes rhetorically looked up to me, reminding me of his lack of voice, I looked down almost immediately and muttered my apology.
He smiled at me, almost satisfied he proved his point. How could I forget this boy didn't have functioning vocal cords? I had not been able to stop thinking about him since I first saw him.
"Did Dwayne talk to you?" I asked.
He nodded, then scanned the crowd, almost as if reminded why he was waiting.
"OK. The plan was to go to my place, but really, I think we'll go to the palace."
An expression of confusion replaced his curiousity.
"Are you from here?" It's odd someone living in the town would not know about the palace.
He shook his head, then brought up two fingers.
"OK, so you've been here for two months? Or is it two years?"
He lowered one finger and motioned to the left. I guessed he meant he has been here for two months.
"Oh, okay then. So, how do you like the place? I know the school is a bit s****y, but I assure you the reason why you're waiting for us isn't." I smiled.
He smiled back. Then pointed toward the door. Kyle and Justin were coming out, and when Justin saw me, he nodded.
As they began to meander through the crowd toward us, I turned to Chase and asked him where Dwayne was. Chase looked back to the school and shrugged. I frowned. It wasn't like Dwayne to leave us behind after we planned something. I didn't have a cell phone, so I couldn't text him to ask what was up.
"He's not coming," Justin said as soon as he was close enough to talk to me. "He had to go home. He apparently started to feel sick during sixth period."
I looked at Justin, contemplating whether or not we should go as planned. Kyle seemed eager to leave the school, and Chase was beginning to just as restless.
"Fine. We'll go to my place and hang out for a bit," I said. I wanted to get high, and I didn't want to lose the chance to become friends with Chase. After the few minutes we had alone together, I felt like a friendship between us could be plausible.
When he smiled at me, I knew Chase was probably thinking the same thing.
"F*****g sweet," Kyle said. "Let's go. I have to be home by seven, though. If not, then I'll have to call and let Sandy know I'll be late."
Sandy was a nice lady, for a foster mom. A lot of them seemed to be unnaturally happy, or impossibly miserable. Sandy was like a regular mom, and Kyle really liked staying there. I only wished she wasn't so strict with his curfew. She called the cops the last time Kyle spent the night at my place without calling, then he got grounded for a week.
As the busses began to pull in, and the students crowded around their loading zone, I led the other three guys to my place. My house was in a really convenient place of the town. Since it was almost in the middle of town, the longest walking trip to anywhere i needed to go was about 25 minutes. The walk to and from school was about 15 minutes of walking. If I had to go into the district, then I'd take the bus.
"So who's the new dude? It didn't take you long to find a new Dwayne there, Trev," Kyle asked. The level of sarcasm that comes out of his mouth was sometimes a little overbearing, but I grew accustomed to him after a while.
"His name is Chase. Don't try to get any type of word out of him; he can't talk."
"What do you mean 'he can't talk,'?" asked Justin, giving Chase a curious expression. "Is he a mute?"
Chase nodded.
"Oh," was all of Justin's response.
"That's… cool. Were you born without being able to talk?" asked Kyle, "Oh wait, does being a mute mean he can't hear me?"
Chase shot Kyle a dirty look, then kept walking. He matched his pace with mine, and soon fell into step. Kyle was left in the background, trying to defend his ignorance and dignity.
"Well, at least Justin knew when to shut up," I muttered to Chase, who gave me another look of growing impatience. I smiled back a little more confidently than I felt.
We walked a little while in silence, and Kyle sparked a smoke, and silently followed. Justin seemed a little quieter than he usually was. I wasn't sure if it was because of Chase's presence or the lack of Dwayne's.
After a few more minutes, Chase seemed to preoccupy his attention with his phone, texting away. I turned and looked at Justin, and silently asked him what was up. Justin smiled meekly and and motioned to my place. I nodded, and kept walking.
"We're almost to my place," I told Chase. "You can wait in my room with Kyle, I have to do something before I go up there."
Chase looked at me with mild confusion, but nodded. I suppose he was under the impression I would be getting the pot ready, but we wouldn't do that until we were all together. I just wanted to talk to Justin and see why he was being so quiet.
When we got to my place, I told Kyle to wait in my room, and then went into the kitchen. Chase followed Kyle, and Justin was behind me. I walked over to the fridge and pulled out a few bottles of water, passing Justin two of them.
"So tell me," I said, opening one of the bottles and turning to Justin, "What's up?"
Justin looked at me with eyes more serious than I've ever seen them, "I received a number of texts, today."
"From who?"
There was a sense of hesitation before Justin responded, "Lily."
This time I stopped responding. Justin's older sister, Lily, ran away from home a few years ago. She had taken off with her boyfriend, leaving her admiring little brother behind. She promised him she would come back for him, but that was years ago. I closed my eyes, and wished Justin didn't have to go through such emotional horror, especially after he seemed to be getting over her promise.
"She wants me to come live with her — in Toronto. She talked to my mom about it, and she said it's okay for me to go."
"What do you think about it?"
Justin took a breath and turned away from me. He knew I was gay, but he still didn't want to submit to showing emotion around his guy-friends — that part of the heterosexual society, I will never understand. However, I knew my boundaries, and stood where I was.
He leaned on one of the kitchen chairs and took another breath, "I–I don't know what I want to do."
"Then you give it time," I said. I thought about my Gramma, and she told me decisions can be made in an instant. If we are scared, and we know we have time, then we should take every second possible to decide.
Justin sniffled, then nodded, "I'm going to go to the bathroom for a bit. I'll just head into your room when I'm done."
As I passed him, I patted him on the shoulder. I knew he'd been wishing to leave his mom's and live with his sister. His mom wasn't strict, or mean. She was negligent, and poured herself one screwdriver after another if she weren't at work.
I remember being in that house without Justin. I was looking for him, and when his mom caught notice of his missing, she drunkenly pulled me into the house and made me promise her that I would find him, and that he would be OK.
Justin assumed his mom didn't care, but what he didn't see what she was sick; and Justin needed this freedom to see that. But would he be able to leave his mom's place to live with his sister, or would the years of dreaming this would come true play factor to his downfall? I sighed again, wishing these decisions wouldn't ever have to be made by a sixteen-year-old. He waited patiently for five years to hear from his sister. He then spent another year and half accepting her broken promise.
All I could think was, 'What a b***h.'
I headed upstairs, glancing at my open door. Kyle and Chase seemed to have managed to amuse themselves with my new video game. I hoped they wouldn't beat my score during the few minutes they were in there after I spent an entire week blowing the brains of the undead out.
I walked over to my brother's room, and knocked a few times. He opened the door, and I smiled smugly at him as he sighed slightly.
"I may have another costumer for you."
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