To DAD

When I sit alone and reminisce I constantly think of what I miss

The years have gone so quick somehow Memories of you,

 so distant now Unanswered questions still linger on…. Why did you do it?

Why not confide in someone?

Why didn’t you tell us how bad it had gotten?

Did you think better off dead & forgotten?

I can’t begin to understand your mind-set that day

 To make you believe there was no other way

One thing I can say you planned it so well

 Happy as always from what folks could tell

The people you were close to and those that you knew

 Fell in to shock, couldn’t believe it was true

You had been for drinks with your closest friends

Not one had an inkling that, that it was the end

On that day you went to the shop in the morning

You were seen as yourself, showing no sign of warning

On route to your death, you emptied rides of the money

 I thought that was strange I thought it seemed funny

Maybe you planned to come home to us instead

And you realised that you were not better off dead

I thing I think of is how much anguish you were in at the time

 And did understand what you were leaving behind…….?

I played the tape you left us behind I must of played it a hundred times

What you said about me, I need you to know

I never did hate you or thought you should go

 I was at that age of loathing any rule

Hating restrictions that messed up ‘ what's cool’

 I hate to think of you suffering so,

Tormented inside, filled up with woe

My hope is for you that your soul lives on free

And when its my time you will be waiting for me.

 

 

 

Author's Note

My dad commited suicide in 2000 these are words I written in memory.