A mental break

Sick of paranoia tired of absurd thoughts
Constant grind hearing things assumptions being distraught
If its not derogatory voices talking constantly about me
Random thought will make me act quite obsessively
Cant shake the feeling im being watched all the time
Constant stress of security being hacked on pc and phone
Not ever feeling comfort or content of  being alone
Under surveillance in my house being judged out in the street
Unable to seek the safety of a retreat
Paranoid for my safety, my dog and uncomfortable at home
People assume and judge making up what they don’t know
I'm aware of what the gossips say interfering how far they'll go
Scared of gossip and the damage they can cause
hearing their voices my mind on pause

My lack of faith in anyone causes me to over think
My head works overtime pushing me towards the brink
Every time I begin a psychotic attack
Me and reality become completely detached
As if im being monitored by hateful prying eyes
Convinced that Im someone completely despised
I think im always being watched in my home
Contiguously praying they would leave me alone
Distracted and convinced im overhearing their views
As if my actions are constantly being viewed
I cant ignore constant comments on all that I do
Why me? when will they gain satisfaction?
Im completely unable to find any distraction

I know what is bad and what is wrong
A casualty of misuse is what I cant refrain from
Withering enjoyment with unstable thought
Delusions and mental battles to be fought.