She Died At Nine

She sits in the middle of a half empty room
As she replays her memories
Her black hair covers her face
Her long bare legs crossed Indian style
Her scarred arms are limp at her sides
Her hands neatly placed in her lap

The door opens once more
She silently screams
She doesn't want to be played with today...
Boots hitting carpet is all that she can hear
Coming closer to where her teddy lay

She prays to the god she doesn't really believe in
She tries to make him listen
For the past year he has been so deaf

"Please God, if your there, make the scary man go away."

As the foot steps stop in their usual place
She doesn't move
Doesn't even dare to breath
He bends down to her height
She doesn't look up

"Please god, just this once, please..."

He twirls a strand of her hair with his finger
Its grown so long
Its past her waist
His hand moves to her back
She shudders at the familiar touch

"Come on baby girl, don't you wanna play?"

The smell of alcohol strong on his breath
She's a brave little girl
Doesn't move away
She doesn't even flinch

His hand moves places that should never be touched at her age
He makes her work her hands
She doesn't look
It will all be over soon

When he's done
He leaves her there
Naked and scarred
She sits in the middle of the half empty room
She stands up for the first time
Her hair brushes against her upper thigh

She is no longer nine
Not in her mind
With the smell of his breath lingering in the air
She walks out of the half empty room
Into the bath to wash off his touch
She fills the tub with steaming water
As she sits in it trying to get it all to go away
She prays

"Please God make my daddy change...
I know your probably not there, dealing with someone more important then me...
and that's okay
I'm worthless anyway"

Thoughts spin in her head
She's thinking of death
Nine years old
Planing on how to kill herself
And she prays to the God who she doesn't believe is there

She doesn't pray for herself
But for her father who has touched her since she was eight...
But still she prays

"When i die at the age of nine
Teach him to treat his next one better
The one he thinks i don't know about
Tell him to treat her better
I wasn't good enough for him..."

She talks of the new baby girl
Arriving in about 2 months
She never once thinks about herself

Her last thought?

"God?
Make sure the new baby is better then me
Let daddy change
And mommy stay...

But God?
Why did you hate me?"...

Author's Note

There may be some grammar mistakes, i didnt read it over. This is my first post on here so try and be nice. =]

Reviews

[Honey]

Usually I would find this subject matter just disturbing but you have managed to make it disturbingly darkly poetic. (Compliment!) I liked that you were able to paint the horror and despair of this poor little girl's life without being disturbingly graphic. I also really liked the last part, where her prayers are for her new baby sister, her mom, and even her father. Poor thing...very well written!

[Not Available]

Thought provoking, I like ^^

[HugsAndHeartaches]

I like the title of the story, it was drew me in pretty well :) You ::did:: warn me about the grammar mistakes, but I just want to point out that there should be capitals after a speech mark :)

[Peter Joseph Swanson]

I enjoyed reading it!