The Firing Squad

One man's last request

The sun peaked over the horizon, marking the start of the new decade. Many people the world over were drinking in the occasion, lighting fireworks and spending time with their loved ones. But for one man, celebration was the furthest thing from his mind.

This was Win's last day on Earth.

After running a nationwide black market trade and breaking out of prison on numerous occasions, Win fled China and hid in the United States. There he lived for nearly a decade, blending in with the settlers and working odd jobs, before his past finally caught up to him.

At 4:20 AM, Win's hideout was infiltrated. He was captured by authorities and sentenced to immediate execution. Within an hour, a firing squad was hastily formed on the scene - no point in locking away Win just for him to escape again.

Win, tied to a post, stared at his boots, the events of his life playing before his eyes. He saw the murder of his father when Win was just five years of age. Following that was the soldiers raiding his village, lining up men and boys older than twelve in the streets and executing them. 

He relived the seven years spent begging on the streets, until finally the mysterious man took him in. It wasn't long after that Win followed his adoptive parent's example and started stealing. The subsequent years sped past, all blurring together.

Win looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps. An officer stopped a few feet from him. "Mr. Chester," the man said, "do you have any last requests?"

Win looked past the man, at the row of uniformed men staring him down. He recognized a few - members of the community he was just beginning to call home - but most seemed cold and foreign to him. The man on the right was barely more than a boy; he couldn't have been a day over twenty-five. Yet there he was, standing as straight as a flag pole, ready to end a life. He had no idea what he was getting himself into. The first kill was something special. It never quite left your thoughts.

Win knew the experience all too well. When Win that age, he had already seen more than most people do in a lifetime. He considered himself a man well before he was sixteen, a product of his harsh environment. He ended so many lives--directly and indirectly - that they all started to blend together. But that first one . . . He always remembered the look in her eyes.

Win raised an eyebrow and looked back to the officer in front of him. "Yes."

The man waited for a moment, then asked: "What is it?"

"A bullet-proof vest."

Author's Note

Not meant to be a serious story, and the humor isn't even that good. It's been so long since I've written anything, I just wanted to put something out there to keep the wheels turning.

Reviews

[Novel Minded_75]

Simply excellent: enjoyed every moment.
The insight into the man's beleaguered life gave the story a human touch, while not glorifying the path he had chosen.
The main character's name was, shall I say, convenient ;)
The levity at the end was ingenious!
Keep those wheels turning :)

[Jacob Clifford]

Thank you for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed. Yes, I enjoyed hinting at the character's name.

[Novel Minded_75]

Any story that can keep someone's attention while offering surprise and levity when it is appropriate is greatly appreciated.
Easily my favorite of your works that I read earlier

[Jacob Clifford]

I've become pretty fond of this story, too. It started off as basically just a brief description of Win's life and then the punchline, but I've come back to it several times, each time adding a bit more to it until this product was reached. On another note, I hope you write more soon. I'm looking forward to reading more of your works.

[Novel Minded_75]

I read to submit so more writing, but i have been trying to do a lot of research for my full length novel. It has been taking up most of my time lately, but I will try to conjure up something soon. Thank you for your interest in my work also. It's always a good feeling, as you know, when others appreciate our time and effort, especially as writers. Good luck on your contests also! I thought of submitting my revised 'Relative' story into another contest looking for the same genre, yet that might not be fair to others. I also am not even sure if that is allowed being new to the site. If i could submit fan fiction, I have some Star Wars writing I did a year ago for fun. That, if I recall, is not allowed, however.

[Novel Minded_75]

I need to submit some more writing...hehe

[Jacob Clifford]

There aren't any rules when it comes to contests, unless the contest description has restrictions. Otherwise, all's fair.

[Novel Minded_75]

Thanks for the info. I'll have to check into that to make sure. I just want to be honest about all my dealings.

[PhoenixDown]

I know you hint at this being comical, but so far it is so rad. I love the setup so far. This line sums it all up so well and is just really neat to think on:

"He relived the seven years spent begging on the streets,"

Lol... I knew the name Win was a smidgen peculiar. Rofl Cliff...

& this line "Yet there he was, standing as straight as a flag pole, ready to end a life." Powerful man.

What you have done up to this point is truly powerful - with his explanation of his past and such. Creates a real sense of sorrow for this person. Makes me think about a lot. Nurture vs. Nature, for starters of course, as well as the concept of evil. I'll digress, but this is very analytical Clifford. I enjoy this one a lot. It makes me think.

"The first kill was something special. It never quite left your thoughts." Subtle little line you added which adds so much flavor. Stellar execution.

My Lord, and then that next paragraph. Saturated in emotional story telling. Such a fantastic few lines to read. Something striking about the word "her" of course too, rather than "his" or "their."

I think you should come back to this one. It is so awesome. I am honestly about to muse off of it myself. Gah, I dig man. I really really dig.

Phoenix

[Jacob Clifford]

This story was originally just a short-short story to get back into the feel of writing. I came back to it a few times, and each time it got more and more serious and in depth.

I don't really know how I would add to this story, but I may consider doing more of these shorties. They (this one and "The Stud") have been some of the best received stories of mine on this site.

I enjoy hearing your thoughts on this piece. It's certainly a lot deeper than most of my works. Glad it seemed that way to you too.

[Hannah]

This is a lot deeper than I was expecting. O.V. Hudson says everything I thought, but much better than I could say it. It's short and seems simple, but it has a lot packed into it.

[Jacob Clifford]

Thanks Hannah! Good to see you around again. Thank you for your review.

[alanwgraham]

Ha ha ha! Yes - not serious but fun! I think the length is just about right - its more like a comedians joke with a punchline than a short story!
Well done!
Alan

[Jacob Clifford]

Thanks, Alan. That "punchline" is what I had in mind when I first wrote this story. It's deviated a bit from that, but I'm glad it still comes across.

[O.V. Hudson]

I hope he got the vest!

I thought this story was an interesting blend of wit, which is rather obvious, but also a subtle sadness. The moment may seem to overwhelm Win although he tries to hide that fact by reverting to humor as an escape or coping mechanism. It would be natural to think that a firing squad pointed in ones direction is overwhelming yet his composure is admirable.

I thought the most interesting line was him considering a man of twenty-five to be barely more than a boy. I would have thought a man such as Win, that ran a nationwide black market and had bounced in and out of prison, would have been troubled from an early age. Typically you see criminals talk about maturing in their youth out of necessity so to think Win considers 25 an age where innocence may still exist within a man is a thought that stood out to me. It may not be innocence necessarily. Whatever it is that Win defines as youth he clearly sees present in his future killer.

All told I thought the story was strong. It contains layers that are necessary for these type of short stories to thrive and it leaves the reader with some thought to carry around for awhile. Very well done.

[Jacob Clifford]

Awesome review. Very insightful. I think you put more effort into your review than I did into the entire story. Your thoughts on the "boy" are very interesting. You certainly have a point. But I don't think that guy would be a "man" in Win's eyes. He likely didn't have a hard life I'll be sure to add another line or two about that. Thank you very much.

[matrixmark]

I liked this little pieceof a man whos been on the run but finally caputured. The last few lines i belive wold be something what hanibal lecture would say - very cool, calm and collected. Maybe you could do a full story on this with the lead up to this very moment. I personally think it would be a good thing to do. The cat and mouse, the thrill of the chase has always fascinated me.

Loved this piece. Easy to read- very well written

Another great short story. It's always a pleasure to read your work.

Mark.

[Jacob Clifford]

Great ideas for future stories. I'll definitely keep it in mind. Thanks for reading.

[matrixmark]

Again, the pleasure was all mine

Mark.

[Stan Lee]

My you have been busy Clifford. :)
I thought Win Chester's final request was pretty smart! and I giggled at his name. Like I've already said about a hundred times, I really enjoy your writing style. I'm not even sure what it is exactly that I like so much but one thing is the little side notes like " a firing squad was hastily formed on the scene--no point in locking away Win just for him to escape again." oh and Winchester. heehee. still laughing! :)

[Jacob Clifford]

I have been busy, haven't I? I realized it's been around a month since I posted anything, so I made a couple quickies, and then I realized I hadn't done any poems in a while, so I made another quickie, and then it was Halloween, so I had to do a holiday-themed piece. And you've been busy too! You read all of my spur-of-the-moment pieces. Just as before, I appreciate your comments and I'm glad you enjoy my writing. I was pretty happy with Win Chester, myself. It's not often I'm successful with clever wordplay, so I gotta take the chances when I get them.

[barleygirl]

This is damn complete for such a short little ditty! It's very tight storytelling. I get a whiff of "essence of Woody" putting together the guy's complete name, somewhat camoflauged thru-out the story, for only the trained readers of Woody-esque writing to spot: Win Chester . . . (ha! ha!) Good one! *smile* Well, hopefully the fool got his undying wish! I need to write a story again too, but lately I've been immersed in my rhyming addiction & I can't stretch my mind to the point of crafting a whole intricate story. Maybe I should try something short like this!?!?! Thanks for the fun read!

[Jacob Clifford]

I'm glad you got some enjoyment. And yeah, there is a bit of Woody here. I wanted more than just a one-shot pony with the final line, so I sprinkled in a little more humor with his name. Thanks for reading.

[J.M. Wise]

Not bad haha, firing squad as a title definitely peaked my interest.

[Jacob Clifford]

Thanks, J.M. I'm glad the title caught your attention. I figured it would.

[Shannon]

I was wondering when we would see more from you. Happy to see it!

I think you should push it further. Describe the firing squad, maybe win's reaction to watching. Just get a bit more detailed for a bit longer. The simplify the last request to 'A bullet proof vest'. Both might help the joke hit a bit harder.

I think this is a great 'break a writing drought' piece!

[Jacob Clifford]

As always, your suggestions fit perfectly. I'll be sure to implement them. Thanks for supporting my writing, even when it's just getting my feet wet again

[Shannon]

Of course. Us writer's need to support each other. And your writing is enjoyable. Keep at it!

[Shannon]

Yup. I think you have added perfectly. Your thoughts?

[Jacob Clifford]

I think the changes fit quite well. The paragraph about the firing squad itself adds more to a very bare-bones story.