Chapter 1: Lady In Red

Why would a lycan leader hunt a mere human himself?

   The moon bathed the city in its brightly glow and the stars twinkled like diamonds. The streets were quiet and Darius was getting restless. For the past few nights Lycans have been spotted around town which isn't unusual, but they've been giving off suspicious activity.

   It was more like they were searching for something, or someone. They've been seen scouting different sectors of the city, not harming a single human, and according to their pattern, Darius' sector is next.

   It was almost 2 am and not a sign of a lycan anywhere. Darius was watching the streets from a rooftop and gave out a sigh of boredom. He wrapped his leather trench coat tighter when a cold wind blew at him. He started cleaning his nails when the squad leader, Shaks, spoke through the earpiece.

   "Darius, you see anything?" He asked.

   "Nothing has changed since the last time you asked." He replied frustrated.

   "Don't give me your attitude, the Lycans are suppose to be here."

   "Well maybe they knew we caught on and changed their routine."

   "I spoke to the other squad leaders just now and they haven't seen anything either. The entire city is quiet."

   What the f**k is going on! Darius thought.

   Suddenly, groups of people started filling the streets. Darius looked at his watch and it read 2 am exactly.

   "Looks like the club's are closed." William, Darius' best friend, said.

   "Keep your eyes open, this might draw them out." Shaks replied.

   Darius looked around neighboring rooftops and saw the rest of the squad scanning the streets. After a few minutes the streets were once again deserted and still no sign of one Lycan. He have out a grunt of frustration. It was now 2:30 am when Rose, William's mate, spoke through the earpiece.

   "Hey Darius, there goes your girlfriend." She announced teasingly.

   He quickly scanned the streets and saw her. The girl he had been eyeing for over a week. She had on her usual red coat with the hoodie on her head, but he had memorized the beauty of her face. Her soft features, tan skin and beautiful brown eyes. He didn't know what it was about this girl that has him smitten, he just couldn't stop staring at her.

   She was walking down the street when he noticed someone following her. With his enhanced vision he looked closer at the dark figure and gasped.

   "What is it?" William asked.

   "Is that Zankou?"

   "WHAT! WHERE?" Shanks replied.

   "There, he's following that girl. They just turned the corner." Rose answered.

   "What the hell is a Lycan leader doing following a human?" William said.

   "Shaks, we need to follow them." Darius broke in.

   "Hold your position. We need to know if he's alone or not."

   Just then, a scream came from around the corner and Darius, without another thought, jumped off the 10 story building. He landed smoothly on his feet and ran off toward Zankou and the girl.

   "Darius wait!!" He heard Shaks say over the earpiece, but he didn't stop. "F**k! Everyone move in! Go!"

   As soon as Darius turned the corner he saw Zankou standing over the girl who was lying on the street. He quickly drew his handguns and fired silver bullets. Zankou easily dodged the bullets, ran toward Darius and pounced on him. His guns were thrown across the street and his arms were pinned. Zankou sat on top of him and he began to transform.

   His once human face began to form a snout and his hair grew into fur. His teeth turned razor sharp and his finger nails grew into claws. His muscles grew three times their normal size and his strength increased 10 fold. Darius stared into those yellow eyes unable to move, Zankou raised a claw, ready to slash him, when a whip hit him across the chest.

   He fell back in pain and saw a long gash on his chest. Darius looked up and saw Rose getting ready to strike the werewolf again. She flung her whip once more, but another Lycan appeared and grabbed the whip before it hit its leader. The beast then pulled the whip and sent Rose flying against a brick wall. As she fell on her side two more Lycans appeared and surrouned her. Just as they were about to attack, William shot at them with his machine gun and they quickly scattered. He then ran up to her.

   "You alright baby?" He said as he helped her up.

   "I'm fine love, thanks." She gave her mate a quick kiss on the cheek and got back into fight.

   Darius ran to get his guns but the lycan that threw Rose jumped in his way. Darius hissed at him and prepared for hand to hand combat. The Lycan took two steps when Shaks intervened and the beast stopped dead in its tracks. Shaks stood there with one hand on his samuri sword and his eyes upon the werewolf. Then he saw a scar acroos its right eye and smiled.

   "Hello Rio." He said

   The lycan snarled and attacked. Shaks withdrew his sword and swung it at Rio. He caught the sword in his hand, but Shaks pulled it out, slicing his hand. Rio howled in pain and Darius did a high flying kick to his face hurling him down the street.

   He then saw Zankou running toward the girl. He jumped for his guns and once they were in his hands he began shooting at him. Finally realizing it was no use, Zankou gave the signal to retreat. All four lycans ran off disappearing into the night.

   Darius was putting his guns away when Rose smacked him on the back of the head.

   "Ow! What was that for?"

   "For running off like that, what the hell were you thinking?"

   "It was stupid of you Darius! You could've been killed." William said.

   Darius just rolled his eyes, he hated when his older brother and sister treated him like a child.

   "So what are we going to do with her?" Rose asked pointing at the girl.

   "We're taking her back to the manor." Shaks announced as he wiped Lycan blood off his sword and put it away. "Frankly, I'm curious as to why this girl has captured the attention of Zankou."

   "You think she has something he wants?" William asked

   "What would she have that Zankou could possibly want?" Rose asked.

   "I don't know, but we'll have to ask her when she wakes up."

   "You're right, I'll carry her to the Escalade." Darius said a little too eager.

   "Someone's excited." Rose teased

   Darius just gave her a scornful look and walked toward the girl. He gathered her in his arms and began walking to the car with the others.

Reviews

[Gary H]

I think I may have missed an important part of this or am maybe anticipating this explaination coming - what is a Lycan? Seems all the other reviewers know. Also who is Rose? How does she fit in as a friend/associate of Darius?
The opening couple of lines were pretty good in drawing the reader into the story. There are a couple of times where 'said' is overused as is 'It' to start a sentence. Both of these can be easily adjusted.
Personally I feel that more tension needs to build up from the start of the story before the use of 'f**k' in a sentence - unless the character has a compulsive swearing disorder. I actually felt after reading through that you could have avoided the bad language in this. Maybe use some later when things heat up more?
This is full of ideas and there's plenty of room to take things further - and you could easily expand this chapter.
So far an intriguing start that shows promise.

[Susan S.]

For any who come after me, Lycan means lycanthrope, or werewolf.

I had a great deal of difficulty following the fight scene. I usually do, but you could aspire to be the one who makes me like them. Your writing I find pleasing, though I do agree with Gary H. The little things in a story turn it from a good piece to a great piece. You have that potential, go for it.

One thing more: the pace of the story line was a mite fast, I thought. If this love is going to progress through the whole book, you may have to do some back peddling in the next chapter. After all, she's in his arms; he picked her up without effort, which makes him well muscled; he saved her from a terrible death (though I'm having a bit of a problem figuring out why she is unconscious). When she wakes up, unless his face looks like Quasimodo, he'll be kissed and cosseted from then on!

Despite any negative I have pointed out, I think you first chapter has merit. I'm bookmarking it.

Susan S

[Celtic Cat]

While I'm not a fan of werewolves and vampires per se, I did enjoy this little chunk of mystery. You've got a good start to the story with a romance whirling, a street brawl going on, and the suspense of what the Lycans are up to. I'd say it's a fine start!! I'm off for the next bit!!

[pal]

This dragged me in.. more n more and i really enjoyed it..
a great one.
pal

[jumbie's #1 fan]

I like it! Very strong starting chapter. It makes the reader definitely want to read more. Also the character's personalities are already showing in the first chapter. Well done

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Ooh, this story is very interesting so far. I really enjoyed this first chapter. Great work!!!

Heather

[forfila]

This is very good hun, love the descriptions you have used to give the reader a visual of proceedings.
A great first chapter that has set the story up to unfold well.
I'll talk to you more about it tomorrow, but it's excellent =)

[Fantasyfairy]

Was just wondering if Darius was a vampire or some other being? It doesn't say here. A great chapter though, full of action and excitment to carry it along well. A great first chapter. XX

[Amanda]

great start for this book of yours...the details and the storyline were really good. can't wait for the next chapter. you go girl!

Love ya,

Mandy

[Autumn Dawn Gorny]

Very well done! I like how in the fist chapter you, lay out not just the bare bones of the story but also, a bit of a back story as well.