A tale of death

This was written by Fallen Angel a.k.a Claudia Garcia and Fantasyfairy, we've interpreted that a young man has died and is waiting around for death!!!

A Tale Of Death

Where is the light?
The light that is suppose to
Save me from this perpetual night

This funeral home most definately
Does not feel like home, and that,
most definately
Cannot be me

I had a body strong and tall,
My hair was red and my eyes were blue,
not that thing in there.

I look down at my body and though
My eyes are closed, you can still
See a hint of sorrow upon my
Dead, pale face.

The sorrow that was in my heart,
I try to remember that feeling
The one had got me from there to now
I can feel only a hint.

The air suddenly gets colder and I feel
A pressence with me now. I turn to see a
Tall superior figure standing a few feet
Behind me, staring at me.

He wore a black trench coat, and had
An angelic face, his voice, though, was
Grim and morbid. "Hello Ben, I have
Come for thee. Come to take you home"

Home? he says.
But I had a home once
A castle, a shelter, my domain,
So where was home now?

My body shivered and my voice shook,
I asked who he was and his reply was just
As dark, "I am Death." If my heart were still
Beating, it would've stopped right then.

"Death?" I asked as the words sunk in,
"Did you take her too? Death so grim!"
He looked at me but did not reply,
He had taken my love, let her die.

"I take those that need to be taken"
Was his only reply, his face emotionless.
He begins walking towards me,
I begin walking back.

"Stay away" I proclaimed
"You must come" He said
He stretched out his hand
And I suddenly felt something pulling me

I was right in front of him
And I stared into those dead
Cold, brown eyes of his
I knew my fate was sealed

Then she appeared and my time was now,
The love we had shining through,
Death stepped away, and I went
With her, and him, back home.
 

Reviews

[THERISA]

The way, which the body is describe at the funeral home, is actually in the way, that the body there is a pale shadow of the real person in live. The spark, soul or spirit is missing, which makes the corpse in front of us, come to live. Death should be accepted as part of the cycle and not feared as something evil. Thank you for sharing this collaborate poem with us.

Therisa

[Veralily]

Woah. That was intense. I loved it. Keep up the amazing work!

~Veralily

I look down at my body and though
My eyes are closed, you can still
See a hint of sorrow upon my
Dead, pale face.
The sorrow that was in my heart,
I try to remember that feeling
The one had got me from there to now
I can feel only a hint.
The air suddenly gets colder and I feel
A pressence with me now. I turn to see a
Tall superior figure standing a few feet
Behind me, staring at me.
He wore a black trench coat, and had
An angelic face, his voice, though, was
Grim and morbid. "Hello Ben, I have
Come for thee. Come to take you home"
Home? he says.
But I had a home once
A castle, a shelter, my domain,
So where was home now?

[pal]

Very nicely presented, death which most fear. Death a lovely and pleasant experience.

bravo.
pal

[H. A. M.]

Waiting around for Death to show up? I like that he gets to wait and wonder why it's not like he pictured it. It doesn't say how he died and that's okay. Possible suicide over the loss of his girlfriend. I could be reading to much into this. Him seeing her at the end seems comforting. I assume it's to a better place. Sad about him being dead but glad he's been reunited.

[Carl]

Ok lets see if we can stand between realms here. I like the way our main character Ben has a out of body experience. Here we find him looking down as he remembers the pain that had brought him to this place. The opening lines " Where is the light" almost gives the poem a panic stricken beginning. As though Ben will do anything to avoid the ineveitable. He looks down on the body in the funeral home and thinks thats not me as he remembers younger days. Then suddenly Death turns up to to take what is his. I liked your description of Death. Long Trench Coat, Angelic Face, No Emotion. Ben talks of home being a castle and a domain am i to dectect here that Ben is a English man, For a Englishmans home is his castle. I think the best line was "If my heart was beating it would have stopped right then. We are then given a hint that Ben has a girl or a wife. We also are given a incling that they may have died together although we are not told how . "Did you take her to " Death so grim - love that line. Death does not reply and in the silence Ben realises that Death has indeed taken his love to. In Death's opinion it's time to stop playing games for time is short. Even Death has a time scale. If you don't come now everything will be thrown off kilter. The bus won't crash, the train won't hit, the trigger won't be pulled - Ben you must come now. Ben feels Death coming towards him and backs away. He stares Death down and in the cold brown eyes he knows that his fate is sealed. Over . finished . This in my view would have been a good place to end this peice. It's cold with lots of unanswered questions. Death can be like that. It also gives a feeling of the invevitable. The last stanza is as though Ben needed covincing that his time was up. So Death brings his girl along to convince Ben to come. Maybe Death knew that Ben was a stubbon soul....

Quality write here. A new and fresh take on Death. A Modern take on an age old problem

Thank you for sharing

[E. M. Murren]

This is a wonderful story offered so poetically. Really fine work.

[Joseph - Michael]

Sounded like a crossed between "City Of Angels" and "Meet Joe Black" but, hey, that's just me, so don't mind me

Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this piece, but I hate to say this; "It's not always death if you refused it" I hope that you get my meaning?

On the other hand, you two wrote it so great together, so it's all still good...

[Mysteral - Night Prowle..]

Another wonderful poem to enjoy... perhaps I have an unhealthy fascination for death, possibly I'm getting too old for this life... well done to both collaborators on this one.

[Forest Green]

Your poem deals with the difficult topic of death in a unique manner. Troubling yet ending with the best of hope. You two have done a great job on this...!

Thank you for the send.

Daniel

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Wow, I absolutely love how the two of you wrote this poem. It's amazing, awesome write!!!

Heather

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

A great Collaboration! You Guys did really well in portraying the spirit looking down upon itself and feeling confused and lost. Brilliant!