Diary of a Broken Girl: Day 1

What do you do when life throws you nothing but curve balls?

    Kat puts the last of her luggage in her 2002 Mustang, desperate to leave before he comes home from work. As she makes her way to the driver seat, she takes one last look at the home she’d come to love. The tears that she’s been fighting back all day suddenly come streaking down her face.

    Oh God, why me? She thought. She wiped away her tears, got in the car and took off. She left everything behind her, now all she had was her car and everything in it.           

    Kat is 24 years old and at the age of 20 is when her life started to come tumbling down. She was a college student majoring in English; she dreamed of becoming a writer, at UCLA. Everything was going good for her; she had friends and was living the full college experience. Then one day, she got a call that her parents were killed in a car accident. She had no relatives so she was all alone on this, after the funeral some of her friends stayed with her at her old house for a while, and then they all went back to their dorm. Things just got worse from there, bills began piling up and her parents pension and savings was quickly gone; she had no choice but to drop out of college and find a full time job. She got a job as a receptionist at a medical office and was a sales clerk at a retail store, but it wasn’t enough. More and more bills kept coming and eventually she had to give up her childhood home; it broke her heart.        

    She didn’t have enough money to go back to college and barely had enough to rent a crappy apartment. She lost touch with her friends so she couldn’t ask for help and she was deep in debt. She had to finish paying off her car, her rent, student loans, and all the bills her parents didn’t finish paying. Kat had hit rock bottom and she didn’t know what to do. At 22 is when things began picking up a little, she got promoted to manager at the retail store, which meant more hours and a pay increase; so she quit her job at the medical office.           

    A few days later she met Vincent. He was shopping for his mother and asked Kat for her opinion on what to get. They talked and not only did she give him a good shirt, but also a date. They dated for a year and sometimes talked about a marriage and having kids together. Vincent worked as an architect and he got a job transfer that would take him to Nebraska, so he asked her to go with him. She, of course, said yes; he was always there for her and even helped her get out of debt. Kat was head over heels in love with this man and would go to the ends of the earth for him. Vincent even got her job as a receptionist at the office he’s going to be working at; everything seemed perfect.       

    So Kat quit her job and gave up her apartment, she packed her things and moved with Vincent. They bought a lovely house and elegant furniture to go with it. Another year went by and everything was great, until Vincent began working long hours. At first, Kat didn’t think much of it; he’s just a hard worker. Then people at work were giving her odd glances, and then she heard rumors that Vincent was cheating on her with Gladys. Gladys was Vince’s partner; they spend a lot of time together working on projects for the company. Kat didn’t want to believe it, but Vince came out and admitted it. He said that he no longer loves her and that he wants to be with Gladys. Kat’s heart shattered into a million pieces, he wasn’t her knight in shining armor like she thought. To make things worse she lost her job at the office, they said that they had to do pay cuts, but she knew Vincent was behind it. So she just went home, packed her things and left, she had no one and nowhere to go, but she knew that her place was no longer here.           

    Kat had just crossed the state line when she decided to stop and rest at a hotel. She had three thousand dollars saved up, so she knew she would be ok for a while. It was well past mid-night and all the restaurants were closed, she saw a 24-hour mini mart and went in and bought some chips, a coke, and a sandwich. As Kat went to pay she saw a notebook on the shelf, she picked it up and bought it with the rest of her stuff. She went to the hotel, checked in and headed for her room. She changed into her PJ’s and sat down at the table to eat her food. The tears suddenly came back when she realized that she had absolutely no clue where she was going. She cried for a good ten minutes when she saw the notebook she bought; Kat picked it up and stared at it.

   “Why did I buy this stupid thing?” She said to herself.           

    Looking at the notebook reminded her of the dream she long forgotten…the dream she was forced to give up. She wiped her hand across the cover, and then she set it down, opened it to the second page, got a pen from her purse, and wrote. 

    Dear Journal,

    I am so lost right now. I have absolutely nothing, no job, no home, no friends. I was foolish enough to give my heart to someone, only to have it shattered right in front of me. I don’t know what to do, I’ve just been driving and driving hoping for…just hoping for something. I’ve lost so much in such a short time, what am I to do? Please God tell me, what am I to do?

 

    Kat finished her entry and turned back to the front page. In big letters she wrote:

 “Diary of a Broken Girl"

 

Reviews

[Pema Dorje]

A tale of Tragedy and miseries with the glimmer of hope in the Journal where she finds her 'inner' voice and perhaps her Heart which can never be broken; a Heart which shall guide her to the life she ought to have! The descriptors are made with clarity and emotive Power The Third Person viewpoint sometimes diverts me, the reader. Perhaps as a Journal, First Person would work. What do you think? I like where this is going as there are lessons about life that everyone can relate to in Diary of a Broken Girl.
Honestly it is well written with emotional vividness and word clarity, the gift of a writer!

[Jamie Fantasy]

The narration seemed a little forced at parts but other than that, I thought this was a great start. It was very intriguing and holds a lot of potential to watch Kat's character grow as a person and allow the readers to follow her along the way.

[Monners]

I like this so far. It's interesting, captivating, and unique. I look forward to continue reading this.

[Nuits Macabres]

Well, I'm officially depressed now. ;)

This story captures the pain of so many things gone wrong quite well (cue the violins). Any of us that have ever fallen into a rut or even hit rock bottom can absolutely relate. Well done. =NM

[Jake Donald Stephens]

This was so moving. I felt so sorry for Kat. I hope things will get better for her.
Did she actally divorce Vincent, or is that part still coming? She should definitely get alimony, since he is the one who cheated on her.
The only problem I saw is that the narrative goes back and forth between past tense and present tense, but other than that, this is really great writing. I was right there with Kat, and I respect her for being so strong. I will definitely keep reading. Keep up the awesome work.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Claudia, I think this is good.
It is believable and has a strong voice through Kat.
It is realistic.. true life..I like it ,and plan to read each day,good writing, honest opinion..

Chloe
xoxo

[E. M. Murren]

Ah bugger... I got tossed off after reviewing you and it didn't save. LOL Any I wrote that this is a good start. There are some grammar problems, but those are easily fixed. I look forward to reading more... Cheers.

[pal]

wonderful feeling reading this..
a lonely lost soul.. from all angles..
bravo
perfect characterizations..
pal

[Celtic Cat]

So far, it's good. I wanted to say great, but that felt like a betrayal for Kat, as things didn't seem too great for her. But, as life goes.... I'm sure something awaits her around the next bend. I like this story...keep it going.

[T.I.M.S.]

A tale of sorrow is always a look into the writers very soul. So much emotion goes into such a piece that anyone who reads it feels the pain in the writers mind. This goes more so for those of us that have felt such lose in our own lives. You did an amazing job on this you are truly a gifted writer.

[Gary H]

I think I would have been inclined to call this piece the introduction rather than Day 1, especially as the title doesn't appear until the last lines which would build nicely into the first Day. For ease of reading on this site I would leave a one line gap between paragraphs and any speech as this break makes things easier on the eye - more people will read then.
On the story, you have identified a plot and characters and opened everything well. Just maybe you could have described what Vince and Kat looked like but this might well be coming next.......
Good stuff so far.