My Worst Night

My Worst Night

A Story by Dead Angel
"

Unexpected Visitors

"

Damn this rain! Kate thought to herself. I hope it stops soon, all this thunder and lightening is really getting on my nerves!
     Kate was a middle-aged housewife who was married to a successful businessman. She was an aspiring writer and was currently working on her new book. Unfortunately, she had a bad case of writers block and with the storm going on it just made it harder for her to concentrate. it was 8 pm and Tommy, her husband, still wasn't back from the office.
      I hope he isn't flooded in. Kate thought. Just then the power went out and the whole house was consumed in darkness. Just great.
     She goes around the house lighting candles and looking for a flashlight. She goes to the garage and finds one in her husband’s toolbox. As she steps in, her feet get wet; she looks down and realizes the garage has been flooded.
     S**t! What else could go wrong? She thought. Just then she hears knocking at the door. Who the hell is that?!
     She left the garage with the flashlight in hand and made her way to the front door. She looks through the peeping hole and gasps. On the other side of the door stood the most horrifying and terrifying thing in the whole world. Kate didn't know what to do. The knocking continued and it was as if someone had possessed her in that one instant. Her hand reached the knob and began turning it.
     Oh God!! What am I doing? She thought as she opened the door wide enough to let her in-laws in the house.

TO BE CONTINUED...

stay tuned to see how Kate handles her in-laws through this hectic storm :)

© 2008 Dead Angel


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Reviews

I enjoy some humor mixed in with my horror--nice start. You do bounce back and forth from past tense to present tense which is something to watch out for. "She goes around the house lighting candles and looking for a flashlght." That line is all present tnese. "She left the garage with the flashlight in hand and made her way to the front door." While this line was past tense, and then you switch back to present tnse with, "She looks through the peeping hole and gasps." Try to keep the story in past tense.

Thanks for the read.

Terry

Posted 17 Years Ago


cool going to read next part let me at it mm
like this persons work thank you far asking me to read

Posted 17 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love the way you opened this story. I love it when a story opens with either the character thinking or talking about something that has yet to be described in the story. This is a great piece with some fine writting and a good character. Nicely done.

Posted 17 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

scary piece

Posted 17 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

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O!
hahaahhaah.........in-laws!!!....u got it right there!!!>......nothing could be more scary!!!.....

so far loved it!!...a few grammar and spell checks need to be done....

cant wait to see how she handles them!! :-P

pls send it to me when its out!! :-)

x
O!

Posted 17 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

oh man, can't wait for the next scene, eeeee

mimi

Posted 17 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

ROFLMFAO.. omg.. I had those in-laws at one time.. poor Kate.. poor storm.. poor Kate's husband when he gets home! lmfao.. Simply brilliant.

Posted 17 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Holy god, I was expecting the husband stabbed and dying or something real bad!!!

Posted 17 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Hahah...far too funny. Feels like it came right out of a sitcom. Acouple of spelling and grammatical errors. You may want to read this through really quick for those.

business for one in the third line or so

great stuff, share the rest with me when it comes to you!



Posted 17 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 6, 2008
Last Updated on February 7, 2008

Author

Dead Angel
Dead Angel

Weslaco, TX



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