I'm not as sober

Lyrics to a future song

Its only 1am but I feel like your still awake

My mind is running through your house

As I try to rest my sleepy stare

And, oh I swear, I see the light of my phone

Buzzing with your busy fingers glued to you keyboard

As you type out, ‘I love you’ but I’ve heard those lies before

But I shall hide from the poisonous truth, because I love you

 

I’m not as sober as I tell you

And I swear, I’m like 20 years older when it hits me

I’m living like a fish out of water, drying out next to you

And I cant even spare to be apart from you

 

The kitchen faucets running, I forgot, ‘what side am I on?’

The bathroom swings around, but I thought I was just in my bedroom

There I hear my phone, pictured your sweet little face on the other end

I told you what it was like to fly, but I left out the part where I crashed

The moon will ponder now, your rugged words dance on my heart

‘Are you comfortable now?’ letting you sleep in my gut

Grab another bottle, ‘fore I abord the train

 

I’m not as sober as I tell you

And I swear, I’m like 20 years older when it hits me

I’m living like a fish out of water, drying out next to you

And I cant even spare to be apart from you

 

I let myself flatten under you

Your taking off my cover

I hear your rich f*****g voice

It calls to the gods, like a fallen angel

My head is starting to sting

But I let your hands take it all away, undress me all the way

I kinda feel tired, but I’ll blame it all on you, let me read my mind

 

I’m not as sober as I tell you

And I swear, I’m like 20 years older when it hits me

I’m living like a fish out of water, drying out next to you

And I cant even spare to be apart from you

Author's Note

Tell me, 'Is it good?'

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

"20 years older when it hits me".... that happens to a lot of people it seems, some are just better at hiding it than others. You and I in America usually call it a "midlife crisis", everyone else just calls it a nervous breakdown... not all nervous breakdowns are equal. I think that wether intentional or not you convey the psychic breakdown of events like that quite well with this poem/song; events like unfortunate endings of long term relationships, dissolution of family, dead pets, etc. etc.

If you can sing you should record a song. You don't need musicians these days, you can compose an entire digital orchestra all by yourself with the proper software. I'm sure it helps to have a musician around though.

Oh, and yes, yes it is good. And most people are not sober... which isn't an excuse of course.

[Clarisse]

This is a song, but its a rough draft. i love your opinion because i get to see what you think rather than just what i think. it helps so much. And oh my god, thank you so much for your advice, its so nice to know nice peoplethat are willing to lend some knoledge to others. again thank you. most of the songs i make are about/for a famous twitch streamer by the name Wilbur Soot. i would so love to share my lyrics with him, but thats close to impossible right now. But i'll keep dreaming. Should i post more of my songs, or would that be a bad idea?

[Davidgeo]

You should write lyrics for yourself. Use other people and things but don't become attached to anything beyond your own internal interests. Wilbur isn't what you are really a fan of, it is the feeling Wilbur induces out of you. The feeling is always there... it never leaves. The key is to figure out how to induce that feeling without anyone else... that is truly special.