Chapter 2: Social Media

Advice I'm passing on to you, to help keep your relationship strong and private while also staying socially active.

Over the past few years I've changed.
The Social Media, I use, have changed.
I've worked on how to handle both without over throwing one.

Oh, relationships. How I love thy, and how I hate the. There is nothing wrong with arguing with your partner. As many, have said, arguing is actually a health part of any relationship because, arguing means, "You're actually talking with one another" about whatever, the big issues, her dress size, what's for dinner, etc. it's okay, because that is normal. But, it goes to abnormal, when you go on a social site with friends / family and start dragging out your trash and sorting it out for everyone to see. This, can put a HUGE strain on your relationship because people are going to start openly replying with negative advice and views toward your partner. Then your partner is going to see it and trip s**t- or, you delete it after you've cooled down and they never know about it BUT your friends and family that saw it, aren't going to see why you stay with them and are always going to tell you that. Then it gets worse, then your friends and family start telling your partner things, like, "You ever do that again- blah blah blah" and now, more problems are caused. 

It's okay to talk to someone about the problems you are currently facing BUT updating your statues as,

"Oh m god, my boyfriend didn't put the toilet seat down, he is such an idiot and gross to boot. When is he ever going to start caring about my feelings and start treating me like the princess that I am? I hate him, and he never compliments me. Last night we got into an argument about how we are spending the money- blah blah F*****G BLAH"

Isn't helping anyone. Here are a few tips, to keep your social pages fresh and positive!

1. When you are mad, don't post anything negativity about the person you are mad at. Instead, post something positive- after a while, you aren't going to be mad anymore and you don't need to stress about who saw what and their comments. And who is going to complain about something sweet said about them?

Example: Your boyfriend didn't do the dishes.
Bad: "My boyfriend didn't do the dishes, AGAIN. I'm getting so sick of his lazy a*s NEVER HELPING ME-
Good: "My boyfriend helped me up after I fell down, then he kissed me and made me feel better by carrying me home- Who is a lucky girl? Me!"

This can work with a friend, a family member, a coworker, a partner, a place of employment, etc.

2. Don't OVER SHARE information. If you and your partner like to have rough sex on the back of a moving truck. Keep it to yourself. It's not that I don't like reading about that kinda thing, BUT some of, your friends and family aren't going to be interested. If you have the type of job where information needs to be kept secret, Facebook, isn't the best location for that. Say, if a customer comes into your place of work and gives you are hard time, to avoid getting fired, or worse, reword your update with a little more positivity.

Example: A hard day at work.
Bad: "My boss is a terrible jerk, he made me stay three hours longer to finish a stupid project that I didn't even want to start on in the first place. FML. Debby used all the paper cups at lunch time and I didn't have a cup to drink from, what a stupid b***h! My boss called me into their office today, apparently some money has gone missing and since they don't know who did it, everyone from my department has been put on supposition without pay. FML and this job!!" 
Good: "In these hard times, I'd like to be thankful for having a job and the hard working people I call coworkers. Being able to pay my rent on time and knowing while others suffer, I'm currently blessed to help others. I final got my project finished and now it's time for a warm mocha and a hot bath~ Time for a vacation, glad to be getting some time off, who wants to catch up?"

So, you've got the positive thing down, NOW WHAT?!

The person you are opening yourself to, should be, nonjudgmental - They should not be giving you advice that makes you look like the good guy in all this while at the same time making the other person seem like a fool. Because they are going to feed your head with all sorts of bad advice. They should be making sure you understand what was wrong on your end, not just the other persons. Other wise, what are you going to be learning? Nothing.

Okay, so,"what if I'm not doing this (or I'm going to stop doing this), but my partner ALWAYS does this (too)?"

How to make your partner stop being soooo, flipping dramatic.

1. Be a leader, and lead on by example. If you start following these steps, and they notice it and catch on to what you are doing. They might yell, at first, but make the point, "I'm not making myself look like the good guy here by talking about the good times, you are making me look like the bad guy by telling everyone about how bad our fights are, this way, I'm just letting the world know I care for you through positive reinforcement. If you want to keep spreading out our garbage in the open, please do. You'll just make yourself look bad when everyone starts to read my post." And they can tell everyone what you are doing, and you can comment on there saying, "So, it's wrong to say something positive about you, when I'm mad and upset with you? My emotions for you aren't fake, the good times we shared are precious to me. So, instead of being a jerk and spreading "our" bad news- to the world, I'm reminded people just why I'm with you and care so fondly for you." and go from there.

When making an update on your social media site, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, etc, remember these steps. I'm not saying that you should bottle in your anger, I'm just saying, be kind and rewind. Now, lets say you are going to start doing this and you find it hard to, "Get a happy place with your partner". Basically, if there are close to no happy times together, maybe you'll want to rethink your relationship with them all together. Have you read my, "Relationships: Lesson 1" piece? Maybe you will go take a look and see if that sounds about right.

So, just to recap.

Never post something negative about someone or something.

Have a question Or looking for some advice? Inbox me for a public reply! :)

Reviews

[A. Amos]

Very entertaining:) truly enjoyed will read more of your work

[Claire Barsett]

Thank you, and I hope I can continue peaking your interest!

[A. Amos]

You're stlyle is different and fresh

[Claire Barsett]

I write as though I'm talking out loud, to someone. I think that's why, most of the time, when I do start writing something, it never ends in just a few words :) Thank you again, for your review. I personal, hope you have never had to deal with this type of relationship issue!

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome my dear