-kept secrets (barely alive)-

i wrote this for an old friend whose mother and father passed away. it was a difficult situation for everyone because the situation was deemed as a murder/suicide.

what's better said in letters 

is easier said than done 

how needs and wants 

and awful things 

plague us for what we've become 

for crucifying the lighter side 

and turning towards the dark 

for the beloved departed 

we stuggle with 

and place blame where blame goes 

on malevolent foes 

never casually forgotten 

lies on which we cling to 

while we persecute the right 

in bloody baths 

while losing fights 

while suffering wrongs 

through pitch black nights 

we go into the dark... 

i can't fathom 

brutal customs 

she wants to run 

she said she wasn't 

alone in this 

caught by the current 

under waves that come 

from the heart 

i can't picture 

something pefect 

or deal with lives 

lost undeserving 

what feelings are 

felt and emotions 

impervious won't come out 

in this cursive 

i think of beauty 

grace and courage 

the hatred and 

the spotlight showing 

the tired mess 

of good for nothing 

reasons to be wanted 

i can't win for anything 

i can't trace the steps 

or numb the pain 

only to think of a 

razor blade and feel 

for almost nothing 

older and wiser 

all the more tired 

will i cease this hurting? 

will i fight for honor bright? 

or will i chase the heartbeat 

of someone who meant 

nothing to me? 

something that i can't believe 

something almost free 

some things no one can see...

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

I really like this poem. It reveals so many layers of the human experience. I especially like these words:

i think of beauty
grace and courage
the hatred and
the spotlight showing
the tired mess
of good for nothing
reasons to be wanted

Great poem.

[cl8thegr8]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[cl8thegr8]

i'm definitely proud of this.