Return

Born of frustration with helplessness.

I walk down the cracked pavement

of the cold cemented street,

breathing in exhaust fumes and 

the smoky fog of a dismal day

where it seems like there is no future 

here or ever, 

tasting the diamonds as they fall 

from the sky and tease my tongue and 

sizzle in steam when they hit 

the ruined buildings and I hear the silence 

that is louder than any when 

not even the mice have survived and the birds 

have yet to return to this monochrome 

world that is my world. No more 

green, I think to myself as I curl 

up, and release myself, reduced to another 

nondescript pile of ashes that 

curl away to dance with the wind.

Author's Note

An artifact of my rocky transition into a freer style. Please help and critique!

Reviews

[Heather]

So to me this poem seemed a bit dystopian, like you are looking at a world or place after a fallout or something. It also speaks of winter? I loved the line how the diamonds fall from the sky and tease your tongue, but sizzle on the buildings made me wonder if it was snow. Interesting, it made me think. There's so much description that I felt I was there. I can see the helplessness you feel in the poem as well especially in the end.

[Arya Le Dasmones]

Sizzle on the buildings was meant to represent acid rain, and the overall degradation of the environment, but I can see how it was vague. Thanks for your review, it's greatly appreciated!