Daybreak

Sunscapes flatten pine wood forests;
Fire rips through dark silhouettes and tears them

Down.
At night they creep back up to the front lines--
The moon's eye stands guard with a stead-fast heart
And ever watchful presence, slow to action
But sure of every movement it makes.

They march to lines and stand at attention
Faltering not until they can stand no more.

Reviews

[Kieran James McGovern]

This is cool... very good imagery... last two lines are a bit ambiguous - but that's not at all a bad thing. It's cool, open-ended I guess. Very nice little portrait ;)

[Markymark]

I am loving this poem. Really.....But for some reason that I can't put my finger on, two lines seems to read a little rough in an otherwise beautiful piece. Like I said, I'm not sure why, (and I am as constructive as constructive and honesty can be) these lines don't flow like the rest of the piece. Maybe it's just me. Let me re-read it again.

And ever watchful presence, slow to action
But sure of every movement it makes.

Nope. Still there. Wonderful idea though, and like the other reviewers.....I enjoyed the read.

Mark

[Emily B]

beautifully written, thank you for sharing it :)

[Gandré]

This is a very good poem. I liked the eastern thought in it.

[Lilith]

I really love the way you chose to format this poem. It fit the rhythm perfectly, and helped me get into the poem as I read it. Beautiful words.