Breaking Through

I hear Dawn breaking through the glass pane
Of night, her tangerine light humming high and impressionably.
She dazzles the Stars so profoundly, they spend the next twelve hours
Hiding behind her luminous glow.

Green Grasses stretch high, not discouraged by the endless Sky
And thank it for giving them ample room to grow.
Moisture blankets drape silently over the scene, refreshing and
Renewing with the Sun.

I wander through the dark murky Forest concealing
Life within ancient and powerful limbs.
Grasping at tendrils of hopeful wishes I push through
While leafy arms push back, urging me onward.
My eyes wander toward the way I came from,
But steady sure movements guide this vessel onward to
New Territory.

Waves crash and pool around my naked feet, welcoming them back
As if they were finally Home. I ask my her the unanswerable questions,
The Why’s, The How’s, The What if’s.
She knows the answers but chooses to keep them to herself,
My revelation dwells in her consistency, not her tendency to withhold information.
All reveals itself in time and for now, I’m content with salty feet.

Reviews

[Emily B]

The feel and the tone remind me of Emily Dickinson, except you are freer in your prosey verse. I did find one stumbling point, I think it might be a typo. In this line:

As if they were finally Home. I ask my her the unanswerable questions (did you mean to have my and her in this line?)

It's wonderful, I loved reading it.

[Gandré]

This was very intense. I liked your last line, it gives hope.

[angelina neves]

Very beautiful!

[[untitled]]

This poem really captures my attention! From start to finish, and finish to start . . . reading and re-reading, to grasp each detail. Not many poems grab me, like this one does.

First of all, I love how you capitalize the various entities, such as Dawn, Sky, Forest, The What If's, and so forth. It's remarkable how just capitalizing select words create an entirely different feeling to the poem, than if they were left lowercase.

The metaphors used here, are simply remarkable and very well done.

The imagery . . . stunning. A reminder that all things in nature have purpose, desire and meaning.

The repetition of the ocean is understood. The up's and down's of life do share one thing in common . . . consistency. Remaining still, quiet, and in the moment, sometimes, brings clarity to the questions that puzzle us most.

Beyond brilliant, my friend.

[Michael X]

Wow, this poem draws the reader into the furthest depths of the expression and takes the heart away,
cast into a sunrise, I could see the light breaking through the clouds and the wording delivers with focus,
passion, clarity, and a sense of etheral beauty, you have talent, keep it up!

[Markymark]

I love this piece. I love to visualize things. I'm not a huge fan of over abstracting things. This one is straight on, just the way I like a good read....There is a bit of abstraction...but just enough.

Thanks for sharing it.

Markymark

[Gathering_Stars]

: ) I get what you mean by my redundancy, and I do have an answer for that although some editing might prove to lessen the confusion.

The repetition of the ocean, how it stays pretty much the same despite the amount of activity surrounding it seems to be the answer for a lot of my questions in life. Although life comes at a person hard and fast, staying true to oneself seems to be the best bet.

The tendancy to withold information part is because, as you know, the ocean doesn't talk back quite so literally as I.

Again, I think some editing that I have been procrastinating on will aid in clarification, but thank you for your review, it was well argued, presented a good point, and will help in my editing.

: )

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I was drawn to this because I have a poem by the same name. Interestingly enough; they both speak of revelation. I was amused by the lines: "I ask my her the unanswerable questions,
The Why's, The How's, The What if's." And "My revelation dwells in her consistency, not her tendency to withhold information." The first expression " my her" was puzzling but the second is what we southerners call "shuck and jive." Some pedant somewhere is screaming "oxymoron" but I shan't stoop to name calling. lol What I mean is that it takes a tendency to become a consistency and vice versa; they are the same.
One might as well say that the revelation lies in inborn proclivities and not in innate dispositions, it's a doubletalk of a logical fallacy since the second statement proves the first untrue and vice versa. I like the imagery presented in the piece though, from fields to forest and sea; seemingly ending where life began.

[Phibby Venable]

very beautiful, it holds a holding native american feel for me.
wonderful images.

[James K. Blaylock]

I really enjoyed this piece. It's whimsical and wondrous. Great job!

jkb