Figure/Middle/Child

Struggling with one's selves can be tiresome

            What are you thinking about?

"What are you doing here?" Figure whirled around, looking in the darkness for the disembodied voice that tickled the ear and sent tiny hairs on end, which was dark like that of a military veteran that had been in a World War.

Answer my question.

"Thinking."

'bout what? Figure whirled to find another voice, this one innocent and child-like.

"Why are you two here, I thought I got rid of you?"

Why do ya wanna get rid of me…did I do somethin' wrong? The child became sad, quivering making the voice pitiful.

"No…you just deserve rest now. You've been through so much,"

Nice of you to finally start caring.

"I've always cared about the child. Never getting the chance to have a normal life…of course I care."

Would have fooled me. You seem to be trying to get rid of us.

Eyes darkened as they focused on something far off in the shadows. "Not the child. Just you."

I protected you. I protected the both of you.

"You did. And you still protect the child. But you're ruining my life. You make me doubt what I shouldn't. You make me doubt her!"

You're girlfriend? The last word was said with a tone that sent Figure's hackles on end.

"Leave her alone and leave me alone."

I make sure that you don't fool yourself and get hurt. The voice gained a slightly edge that was met by an explosion from Figure, "BY MAKING ME AFRAID!" Head dropped and chest rising and falling slowly the next words were calmer. "I know you try and help. But you make me doubt too much. You make my nightmares horrible…I can just barely hug her and whatever and not be afraid of what I see when I close my eyes at night. Whenever she or anyone else say something you make it so memories come back that I've tried to surpress. You turn me back into the shy little child that has no self-esteem and second guesses everything I do."

You don't get hurt that way, you're careful.

"I'm an adult now…I want to be able to listen to my friends talk about a party they went to and not be hurt that I wasn't invited. And not wonder why I wasn't! Not wonder 'Was it because I'm too quiet, boring? Is it because they don't like me?' I hate that. Stop doing it to me."

You do it to yourself.

"You put those memories of my childhood in my head." The form dropped to the ground, knees digging into the cold earth. "You make me afraid to be close to people because of what's happened before.  You make me hate to be close to people because I don't want to fail them…like I did mama. I don't want to be afraid anymore." Tears ran down rounded cheeks to land in the earth. I'm so sorry mama…I'm so sorry.

A tiny hand touched the hunched shoulders and eyes turned to see a small child.

"I no wanna be 'fraid no more either," The Child's voice was tearful, but at the same time strong.

"I know you don't want to any more," Arms reached out and wrapped Child close, pulling the tiny figure into the larger lap. "But you're the part that is trapped in the past…when death started to accompany us," Eyes looked up into the darkness to see a figure walking forward. It was an older version of Child, but looked harder and angrier then someone should be at that age. "When you were created."

"You make it sound like a bad thing that I was created," The middle figure growled, arms crossed and eyes flashing.

The tallest figure sighed and the head dropped once more, eyes shut. "Not really…you've protected us…you're so young, but you became the adult when neither of us could. Thank you,"

This threw Middle off, but quickly recovered with a shrug, "You were too f****n' weak, what else could I do?"

Figure nodded, "You're right…I'm still weak…with everything going on…with all the death and disappointments…confusion and fear…strength hasn't been one of my greatest things." Glistening eyes looked up and connected with their hard twins. "Thank you…but…I need you to leave me alone more." Eyes took in both figures. "Both of you."

"You no love me no more," Child whimpered, looking up at Figure, eyes glistening. Figure's heart broke at the little one's hurt.

"I'll always love you…you are a part of me. But I need to move on. I need to put these insecurities behind me. Before I do or say something I'll regret. I've already slipped, I've got the scars to prove it," Figure said tieredly. "I also don't want to give her a reason to be fed up with me."

"Why do you care about her opinion so much? She's only going to hurt you," Middle snapped.

Figure nodded. "Yeah…she probably will…"

"How things turn out everyone that comes into your life does this simple pattern, Love you, Hurt you, Leave you, Kill a little bit of you," Middle sneered, counting each point off on outstretched fingers.

Figure nodded. "yeah that does happen…she may leave me, taking my heart with her," The words stopped and Figure's head shook then lifted. "But she means more to me then anyone in my life. I love her. I would die for her."

"What about,"

"Stop it," Figure snapped, cutting Middle of mid-sentence. "You need to understand Middle…you may put thoughts in my head, make it hard to me to do things, make me do things I regret later…but I know this isn't a mistake. Stop trying to convince me otherwise."

"You are making a mistake."

"Then let me make it."

"No."

Figure sighed and set Child on the ground before standing and walking to Middle, looking into the hard eyes of the Protector of their trio. "Please,"

Middle's face screwed up and the entire body tensed, moving away from Figure. "Forget it. I'm leaving." With that the form turned and stormed off into the gloom.

Figure sighed and turned to look at Child…but found the little one gone. Another sigh escaped as once more Figure fell to the earth. "I don't know how long I can keep this up." Eyes slipped shut and Figure drifted off.

~*~

"Time to get up baby. We've gotta go."

Hazel eyes blinked open and looked up into warm brown eyes. A smile bloomed the sleeper's lips. "Sorry…how long was I asleep."

"Half hour. You know you talk in your sleep."

Hazel eyes dropped as a blush ran up the pale neck. "No I didn't…what'd I say?"

"Dunno. I think I heard sorry, but I wasn't sure."

The smile faltered as the figure sat up, running a hand through dark hair. A glance over the shoulder brought the other figure to her sight again. "Let's go ahead and go."

With a nod of a dirty blonde head the girl stood and put her shoes back on. Silently the two got ready and walked to the door. Just as they were to get in a car the sleeper stopped and stared her companion in the eye. "Love you baby."

Reviews

[Pauline Ramsey]

Interesting storyline here and a lot of raw emotions. I loved it. There are a few grammer and spelling mistakes, but they aren't too bad. Great write!

[Reality]

very interesting, i think it explains the personalities in all of us, well in me at least. there are always those parts of your mind that seem different from each other and if your overanalytical, like me, they are always fighting about the right choices to make. nice job :) its nice to know someone else has them too, lol.