The Soloists and the Avatar.

Before communion, the children contribute to a great creation. --To see the full picture, click on it--

(Teneramente is displayed in the picture above)

(The events in this section transpire a few pages after my first submission)

As the cycle came to a close, all the children of the realm convened at the sacred Temple of Revitalization. There, the Light communed directly with the spirits of Its children. “I much enjoy these communions.” Fortissimo said, breaking the silence. “There is no other feeling so powerful and pure, and some of our best works immediately follow.”

“Yes!” Teneramente excitedly agreed. “And Its stories! Such exciting stories! I wonder what they’ll be this time?” She pondered, eyes dazzling in wonder.

The temple seemed to grow as they got closer. The chest-thumping beat of multitudes of dancers, accompanied by dozens of beautiful songs filled the air. Golden white energy swirled in the sky, bending to the beat the dancers had established. Teneramente giggled in excitement and began to skip to the beat.

“Whoa!” Recitativo excitedly exclaimed, stopping his movement. Teneramente looked at him to see what had drawn his attention. As if reading her mind, Fortissimo pointed back at the sky. The energy began to expand and take form. The great form, whatever it was trying to be, was falling just shy of completion.

Teneramente heard the singers increase their song by an octave, and the dancers maximizing their tempo. The environment had become so energized that the ground itself lit up with the thud of every beat. “Soloists!” One of the dancers cried out, spotting the three of them. Teneramente felt a multitude of eyes fall upon them followed by a unified cheer of excitement. In step with the music, the wall of bodies opened, creating a path directly underneath the formation of golden-white energy. “Complete the avatar!” One of the voices called out.

Recitativo shot an excited glance at Teneramente, who jumped up and down clapping her hands, equally excited. Fortissimo glanced at both of them and clenched his fist in excited determination, charging forward. Teneramente and Recitativo took off in a sprint, close behind.

As they ran, Recitativo extended his hand to hers, to establish their link. Teneramente, gleefully, clapped her hand into his. Their eyes became beacons of pure light and a golden aura began to pulse around them. A warm sensation flooded Teneramente’s body as her and Recitativo’s mind became one. Her surroundings blurred around her as the unfinished avatar in front of them became clearer.

“Fortissimo!” Recitativo and Teneramente called out in unison, vaulting into separate front-flips. At that, Fortissimo extended both of his arms on either side, allowing Recitativo’s hand to touch his left, and Teneramente’s to touch his right. In unison, Teneramente and Recitativo landed on either side of him, all three perfectly synced.

Fortissimo belted a realm shaking note. Establishing the musical baseline and linking his energy with the Avatar’s. The singers of the other groups joined their voice with his as the feet of Recitativo and Teneramente began to move. Instinctually, both moved at an up tempo 2 for 4 beat. With every step made by her and Recitativo, the swirling energy in the sky lit up, expanded, and retracted with the speed of a heartbeat. Teneramente and Recitativo felt the energy of the Avatar become theirs and, after the other dancers joined in, the tempo baseline was set.

Now, it was the energies turn.

An eerie silence covered the realm, broken only by steady hum made by Fortissimo’s, Recitativo’s, and Teneramente’s pulsing aura. With their right feet forward and posture lowered, Teneramente and Recitativo stood ready to break out into whatever dance the energy wished of them. Fortissimo’s posture was tall and wide, ready to sing and guide the energy into place.

Suddenly, three notes of different octaves blared from the energy above, simultaneously. Without hesitation, Fortissimo matched its opener with three concurrent notes of his own. The sounds blended perfectly and the shining, golden energy above began to move. Teneramente and Recitativo felt a rhythm begin to beat in their mind.

Interpretation was a difficult thing, but together, Teneramente and Recitativo could interpret well. Recitativo spun so his back faced Teneramente. She confidently jumped toward him, body parallel, so his left arm could get a firm hold under her knees and his right arm around her back. Teneramente felt him release her back and her upper body began to fall to the ground. With a firm hold still behind her knees, Recitativo used the momentum to start swinging Teneramente around him.

Their momentum increased as Teneramente’s and Recitativo’s swing dance became faster and faster. Their bodies were fluid, their chemistry flawless. Finally, with instinctual confidence, they released their hold on one another, launching Teneramente into an aerial spin.

Time seemed to slow as Teneramente became airborne. She could feel the eyes of every dancer on her. The breeze on her face. She could feel the energy from the unfinished Avatar eagerly awaiting her landing. Immediately before landing, Teneramente flipped backwards, and when her feet hit the ground, a wave of golden light expelled outward in all directions. The song of the soloists had begun.

Music once again filled the air around the temple as the swirling, golden light above them came to life once more. Now, once again on either side of Fortissimo, Teneramente and Recitativo danced in unison to the fast, 2 for 4 beat they had set. Fortissimo’s voice was strong as he led the rest of the vocalists in beautiful song. With everyone together, the energy grew exponentially faster.

Minutes later, Fortissimo, Recitativo, and Teneramente felt the Avatar reaching completion. Four final measures was all that was needed, and their creation would be complete. Teneramente and Recitativo brought the dancers to a satisfying close, while Fortissimo and the vocalists finished with a thunderous finale that echoed through the plains.

The three soloists extended their arms to the swirling energy above, feeding the remains of their song and dance into it. A few seconds of silence once again fell over the realm, as all of the children eagerly awaited what their performance would create. Avatar’s appeared in many forms, but no matter what form it chose they always did the same thing. They always provided a great creation, forever bearing its mark, that would last for eternity.

The swirling energy condensed into a sphere and shot itself higher into the air. Gasps and excited murmurs could be heard throughout the crowds as the sphere continued to condense, pulsing faster the smaller it became. Suddenly, the sphere exploded into a blinding white light that shined like a second sun across the realm.

When the light calmed, a great golden phoenix flew in the skies. “Yes!” Recitativo cried out, igniting unified cheers that spread through the crowds. Recitativo’s excitement became hers as Teneramente jumped onto his back and embraced him tightly. Together the three soloists watched in awe as the phoenix gifted them for their accomplishment.

With one squeal, the phoenix summoned a golden rain that echoed the beat of their previous tempo. The enriched, golden water soaked the ground, sprouts quickly taking form, and beginning to grow. As the sprouts grew, they sang the song of Fortissimo and the other vocalists. Fortissimo knelt in awe in front of the singing sprout, which began growing into a tree. The tree that was now growing in front of Fortissimo wrapped its branches around him, and placed him on top of it. Teneramente saw that the trees were all playing with the artists involved. Some trees sprouted many branches and spun siblings in circles, while others placed siblings on top of them and continued to grow into the sky, but not one tree stopped singing.

Teneramente, still on Recitativo’s back, cheered with joy at the amazing sight. “It’s all so perfect Recitativo! You did such a good job!”

“Me?” Recitativo cheerfully replied, as he joined one of his hands with one of hers that hung loosely around his neck. “What would I be without such an amazing partner, who maintains such graceful composure even while falling through the air?”

A warm smile played over Teneramente’s face at the compliment as she gave him a quick kiss on the side of his head. The phoenix squealed again, this time directly over their heads. Suddenly, the phoenix descended, directly towards their position. Teneramente’s eyes widened as soon as she realized what it was doing. Rapidly patting Recitativo on the chest, she directed his attention towards the phoenix. “Look,” she whispered into his ear.

As soon as Recitativo looked up, the phoenix landed right beside them. It gazed at them with shining white eyes and lowered its body to the ground, expectantly.

Teneramente hiccupped with excitement. “I think it wants us to get on!” She exclaimed, hopping off Recitativo’s back. Without hesitation, she threw herself on top of the great bird and extended her hand to Recitativo. “Come on!” She excitedly insisted.

Recitativo smiled, grabbed her hand, and straddled the phoenix’s back. Immediately, the phoenix took flight and ascended high into the sky. Recitativo could barely contain his joy. There he was, flying atop a great golden bird, with Teneramente in front of him cheering with glee. He long ago learned that her joy ultimately became his. They were connected on a much deeper level than any of the other siblings, and they both felt it.

“Recitativo….” Teneramente said, snapping him out of his thoughts. As he followed her gaze, he saw that the realm beneath them had changed. It was no longer the present, but thousands of memories playing below. Recitativo looked forward at the phoenix, who appeared to be scanning each and every one. Teneramente looked back at him and smiled. “I still think ours is the best.” She said matter-of-factly.

At that, the phoenix chirped and looked back at them, curiously. A great presence entered Recitativo’s mind and two sentences were pulled out. One from Recitativo and one from Teneramente. From the mouth of the phoenix, the sentences were spoke:

“What shall we make Teneramente!?..........A rushing river that spans the entire garden!”

“I think a vast river would fit perfectly here…..”

The phoenix seemed to squall with joy as Teneramente and Recitativo gasped. Suddenly, the phoenix turned and flew directly towards the Garden of Soloists. Upon reaching it, the phoenix made a quick landing to drop them off.

Teneramente and Recitativo joined hands as they observed the phoenix, which now flew up and down a certain path in the garden, scanning purposefully. A moment later, the phoenix squealed and took up a position in the sky, over the garden. The phoenix looked directly at them, eyes shining bright with glory. Then, suddenly, the phoenix blared the same three simultaneous notes it had when it was yet complete. The phoenix erupted into pure light, its beauty once again filling the sky. The energy that came from the phoenix impacted the ground along the path it had flown.

Seconds later, geysers of crystal clear water sprang from the ground and opened the earth underneath. Recitativo inhaled sharply as the river he had imagined so many cycles ago took form before his very eyes. His eyes welled up at the sight, amazed that one of his great dreams had come true. The river continued to move through the garden, avoiding the creations of the other soloists, creating a pure and natural look.

Teneramente’s eyes filled with tears of joy. She knew just how much this meant to Recitativo. His great dreams were difficult for him to complete, but now he could say he had one.

Author's Note

Another portion of the first chapter, near the end.

If you're musically inclined I'm DEFINITELY interested in your feedback.

This section was very difficult to complete. It introduces the reader to the type of action and writing style they will be seeing throughout the book. It also shows the reader just how powerful their unified voice can be.

Ultimately though, it's disposable. I'm struggling whether or not to keep this part of the story at all. By skipping this and going straight to the communion with the Light, I can save roughly 1500 words.

What I need from the community: Do you understand what's happening? Do you feel the excitement? With your imagination, were you able to visualize what was happening? Your answers will help me decide whether I will keep this or delete it.

Reviews

[Brinleigh Bailey]

I will admit I was a bit confused at first, but mainly because this piece is so unlike anything I have read before. Your word choice was odd, but definitely not in a bad way. You write very creatively, something I admire in a writer. Very well done.

[Church]

Thanks for taking the time to read this Brinleigh. Your comments are well received.

[Milady_Alice_Clare]

Wow! I don't think I've ever read anything quite like that! Been thrown in at the deep end.

OK, so I'm not 100% sure what is happening, as in what the ceremony is etc. It seems very complex. However, I do feel as the reader you get swept along with the singing and dancing, which is good. You can feel the characters' excitement definitely and yes I could visualise what was happening.

You said it was difficult to complete, and it was difficult to read. Not in a negative way, but there is so much to take in and understand, perhaps that reflects what is happening in the story.

If these concepts came from your imagination, then wow!

[Church]

Thank you for the constructive feedback. Just to be clear, when you say you're not sure what is happening, you're referring to the background/plot? Because, yeah, I didn't provide any context. I just ripped this out of the book for review.

Your comment about it being difficult to read was the most enlightening, I hadn't considered that. I was solely focused on it being understandable. I certainly don't want to exhaust the reader so early into the book. Something for me to consider.

Thanks for taking the time to read it through.

[Milady_Alice_Clare]

Yes, I was referring to the background/plot.

As to it being difficult to read, it may just because I don't usually read a lot of fantasy/supernatural stuff like this. Or because I don't know the context. But you do have lots of long sentences. I know you have a lot to portray etc but try and shorten where you can, or makes phrases sentences. For example, 'The enriched, golden water soaked the ground, sprouts quickly taking form, and beginning to grow.' could become 'The enriched, golden water soaked the ground. Sprouts quickly took form and began to grow.' Just a suggestion.

Let me know if you want me to read anything else. Happy to help :)