Chapter IX - Understanding Why First Half

Do you remember that day?

“Raine! What’re you doing?” laughed a girl with long black hair in a high ponytail observing a boy of similar age climbing up a well-matured oak tree.

“Getting a good view of course!” shouted the boy as he easily traversed up the tree to the highest bough. “Wow,” he breathed as he settled down on the crook of the branch, his legs dangling from either side, “You’ve got to come up here!”

Upon his recommendation the girl followed in pursuit as the boy made room for her on the branch. She stood nimbly behind him with a light hand resting on the trunk and gazed at the sight of the suburban neighborhood below in parallel awe.

“I didn’t realize we were this high up!” she exclaimed in impressed wonder.

“Yeah, perhaps that’s why no one ever looked here for hideouts; it’s too beautiful,” he mirthfully joked.

“Either that or they want to have this view all to themselves despite being criminals,” added the girl.

“Even villains have a heart,” he winked, joining in on her jest.

“You mean a sense of beauty, stupid,” she corrected lightly in humour.

“You mean they’ll see you up there so you better get down you idiots!!!” yelled a boy underneath with reddish brown hair, his hands on his hips as he peered at the two above.

“Hey!” protested the girl, “Who says I’m the idiot?!” as she playfully looked at Raine.

“You’re always following his escapades,” argued the other boy with a slight, amused smile.

“I,” she demurred slowly with a hint of embarrassment, “do not."

“Right~” teased the boy.

“Hey now,” said Raine, landing from a branch of the tree beside the brunette below, his black hair gleaming auburn in the afternoon, “You’ve got us down here so might as continue from where we left off. How far off is the artillery?”

“Just a short distance ahead; it’s the right fork after the abandoned shack and blackberry bushes,” informed the brunette.

“Blackberry bushes…?” wondered Raine out loud.

“Don’t get any ideas,” the other boy quickly added.

“I’m won't Darren,” he assured, lightly laughing, “I was just-ah never mind. Let’s go.”

The three made their way through the ground-dwelling verdure sprinkled with sinuous trees that were rich in colour and sagging with unripe fruit. As if a show of habitation the grass thinned to a dirt path that widened into the foundation on which a dark green-gray building sat. A ridged metal roof and uneven spray-painted steel sidings for walls, it looked like a warehouse sorrily out of place and fashion.

“Well I’ll be; how’d did no one notice this?” exclaimed Raine under his breath, referring to the nearby residents from below the cliff.

“Despite the beauty I doubt anyone would make the trek up here but…” responded Esteire, trailing off as she stepped forward to closer inspect the building.

“Wait, Esteire-!!” Raine cried out, his arm reaching out to stop her.

Turning around questioningly she opened her mouth to speak as a bullet shot by where her neck would’ve been if she had not looked back. It instead lodged into her shoulder, her eyes widening in a split second’s disbelief before they closed in pain and she fell, staggering.

Immediately Raine sprung towards her descending figure, intercepting her fall as she clutched her injured left shoulder with her good arm. Her head weakly placed on his lap he looked up from his half-kneeled position, eyes flaring in rage at whatever person committed this unforgivable deed. Locating the shooter’s delayed retreat from behind two-metre high oil drums he hurtled at the enemy, ignoring Darren’s shouts of remonstration.

Whipping a thin, silvern-black smoothbore from his belt he darted to the left for a better aim at the offender and flicking a finger, sent a copper pellet flying soundless through the air. It hit the lower back shoulder of the man and he hollered not in pain from the sting of a bullet, but of paralyzing electricity. Falling to his face rather than to his knees he lay motionless in the scarce grass behind the drums.

As quickly as Raine had fired at the enemy he detected movement to his left and shifted to the right, watching as two men came out from behind adjacent boulders, bullets whizzing from their pistols. Dodging them swiftly he shot two more copper pellets at the men; his ammunition flying faster than the triggering of a gun. Down they came, bodies giving a final fighting twitch before giving way to a tiny little copper bullet’s incapacitation.

[ Aaand I stopped here back in 2013. Although I have most of the plot written down, I probably won’t continue the story for three reasons:

1) Even though it’s my first original story, and it holds a special place in my heart, I’ve lost the drive I had when I was writing it those years ago; not to mention, I forget all of the details in between the overarching plot that I wrote back in 2013.

2) While my writing style is still similar, I have since improved (or I’d like to think lol), so the flow would be disjointed if I continued on without rewriting it completely.

3) Rewriting is soooo long and being a perfectionist, it would take a long time of which I don’t feel like doing if the current project holds more of my interest (which it does). 

Additionally, the first thing I’d want to change is to get rid of some love interests. It’s honestly not that realistic to have so many guys fawning over a girl all at once (even though this story is originally a FF of a girl’s game). Each guy is suitable in his own respect, although I suppose multiple love interests with deeper relationship build up could work, but I would want at most two new love interests for each girl.

That being said, it’s possible I may pick it up once more (because ohh the cringe when reading the original and its rushed end.) Even though the original was casual writing while the rewrite was more serious, I liked seeing the improvement between the two stories in the same year. So, it would be cool if I rewrote it again and saw how the story would change once more. BUT. Possible is the key word. ]

Author's Note

So you actually got this far, eh? Thank you! Hope you had a good journey ;) But if you're feeling unsatisfied, please check out my latest series after five years (yikes!) hiatus. Search for "My World To Live" by Chryiss, or read the details under the same named 'book' on WritersCafe.