Chapter XVII

Be aware of switching POV's.

Eren’s POV

My hands stuffed in my jeans’ pockets, I wander around Amorei before classes start. That’s when I see Elisa, back facing me looking around a corner.

Huh? Little sis does what big sis does as well?

“Hey Elisa; what’re you doing?”

She spins around startled, as if she was a deer caught in the headlights.

“Oh it’s just you,” she says with a now calmer expression.

I raise my eyebrows.

She laughs nervously, “I was just watching out for someone.”

“Watching out?” I repeat questioningly.

She sighs, giving up easily unlike her sister who always a mystery.

“For Andy.”

.................... Oh! I get it now!

My mind sure is slow and it must’ve showed on my face.

“Yeah,” she sighs again, “I think it might be awkward if I see him right now.”

“See who?”

Elisa and I both start at the voice behind us.

Andy!

He’s...he’s like a ninja! 

I can feel her stiffen beside me, openly showing her emotion. Man, she’s like the opposite of her sister. Er wait, not exactly but uh, yeah.

I’m not a morning person it seems.

I shake my head from my piddling comparisons.

She’s slow to start speaking as she chooses her words carefully, “Oh, Andy, just the person I was looking for.”

...Wah?? But I thought-

“Really? How come?” Andy says with a slight tone of suspicion at her peculiar attitude.

She seemed to be at a loss of words as she looked back and forth between me and Andy.

He looked in my direction and then narrowed his eyes.

“Wait, don’t tell me you-” he begins.

“No! That’s not it!” Elisa blurts.

“Not it?” he says with barely concealed displeasure, “Are you hiding something from me?”

Elisa looks uneasy as she stares at the ground while responding.

“It wasn’t until just yesterday, but I don’t think I can go to the dance with you.”

“What?!” he almost shouts.

“I’m sorry, but there’s someone else I like, and I found out he likes me too,” she says, her voice becoming gradually softer as she spoke.

His face contorted into a mixture of shock, frustration and confusion.

“So you just tossed me off on a whim?” he asks, his voice dangerously close to revealing the depth of his ambivalence.

“I’m sorry Andy, but... I liked both of you and I wasn’t sure who liked me, so...” she squeezed her eyes shut.

Andy shoulders loosened and he turned his head away. The silence bore upon the both of us. Apparently he forgot I was even there.

He finally turns around with a more composed expression and says brusquely, “I see how it is. It’s Sebastian isn’t it?”

Here Elisa’s eyes widen as she seemed about to say, “How’d you know?” but got caught off by his hand in a ‘be quiet’ gesture.

“I can tell; he’s always smiling at you. I hope you’re happy together.” His last sentence comes off harshly making Elisa tremble as he spun around on his heel and stalked off.

I watch him as he disappears down the hallway and past a corner and then look to Elisa. I’m taken back by the tears forming in her eyes.

“Wha-wha, hey now,” I stutter uncomfortably as they start to fall, “Don’t cry.”

Unsure what to do, I awkwardly put my arms around her. With a hiccuped cry she buries herself in my chest as I hold her there and pat her back gently murmuring, “It’s okay,” over and over.

“I never meant to hurt him, but I didn’t expect myself to like two guys,” she says in between her sniffles and hiccups.

“Eren, I’m sorry.”

“Huh?” I say and take a step back to look at her, “What do you mean? You didn’t hurt me.”

She shakes her head. “No, no. I mean I’m sorry to have brought you into this and see me like this. For crying out loud - Oh my, I actually am though - it’s school! And to be like this.” She stops and wipes her eyes and takes a deep breath to calm herself.

“It’s embarrassing.” Her voice barely a whisper.

My hand settles on her shoulder.

“It’s okay. I’m just glad I’m here for you,” I say consolingly.

She grins weakly in appreciation.

“Yeah, thank you.”

---

Why do girls have to be so complicated? I think as I stare absently at the teacher and tap my pencil against the polished wood desk.

“Eren, stop tapping your pencil and wipe off that absent look on your face!” the teacher scolds, suddenly next to my seat.

Esteire glances at me in the corner of her eyes.

“Oh, sorry,” I mumble, abashed.

He curtly nods and strides away.

Esteire tips her head curiously at me but doesn’t say anything and turns back around.

I sigh inwardly.

She still doesn’t look at me directly in the eyes. Everyone else, but not me. Why?

My heart quickens. I shake my head. Stop it Eren, there’s no hidden meaning behind it! Anyway, I’ve lost the ability to love again.

Elisa’s POV

As the day drags on, I slump around in all my classes; the morning’s event still fresh in my mind. 

Why’d it have to be this way? I was naturally attracted to Sebastian, but Andy? Were my feelings for him only because he was nice to me during my indecision? Was he right about me? Was I, untrue?

The tears no longer came from my eyes as I had depleted them hours before, so I sighed as the clocked ticked the last minutes of school.

The bell soon rang and I got up from my seat and collected my belongings.

“Good day Elisa,” says Lucien with a wave as he prepared to leave.

I wave half-heartedly at him who notices and comes over with a worried expression.

“What’s wrong?” he asks quietly, searching my eyes for clues.

“An-” My voice broke as I attempted to answer him.

His eyes glimmer in understanding. “I see.”

I nod defeatedly.

“I’m sorry. If you like, you can come to the dance with me instead.”

“With you?” I ask incredulous.

“Am I so bad?” he questions, raising his brows.

“No, no,” I wave my hands, “I mean don’t you have someone to go with? You are pretty popular.”

He lowers his eyes. “Ah.”

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to assume, but I thought some girl would ask you to it,” I apologize.

Seems like I’m doing that quite a lot today.

“No, it’s not that,” he says, eyes still down, “Girls have asked, but I turned them down.”

“You didn’t like any of them?” I ask, somewhat hesitant to continue the subject.

“I guess not,” he answers softly with a faraway look.

“Was there,” I ask growing more unsure but now curious, “someone?”

He’s silent for a second but then responds with a warm tone as if thinking of her. “Yes.”

“But,” he continues, his voice now dulled, “it wasn’t meant to be.”

“Oh,” I respond, sorry I pushed the topic. Still, I wonder who she is.

“Well, would you like to go now?” he says smiling softly with underlying melancholy. 

I nod and we walk out together.

Nico’s POV

It was now or never.

“Will you go to the dance with me?”

Ever-steady indigo looked straight at me, her expression as always, unreadable.

Please say something, I plead in my head when she doesn’t answer right away.

“Do you,” she finally says, “like me?”

I blink. 

Somehow, that question sounded strange coming from her, as if she was a girl in a clichéd school romance film.

“Was I not obvious?”

Not what I intended to say.

She tilts her head. “Obvious...?”

I can’t explain what I said or did next.

My hand lifts and rests its palm against the nearby wall, catching Esteire by surprise by the sudden closeness of my arm to her head.

“You know,” I say and lean in a bit, “I think I fell in love with your escapee from the concert.”

She knits her brows and asks confusedly, “What are you trying to say Nico?”

“What I’m saying,” I lean in closer, “is that when you ran away, I could see your heart.”

Her eyes flashed a pained expression before reverting back to her usual composed demeanor as I carried on. 

“From the first time I saw you that night before the performance I could tell you don’t show any feelings of any kind, yet when I saw your eyes, I saw the loneliness hidden behind your calm appearance. So when you left abruptly like that, to be honest, I became attracted to you and the mystery that seems to always shroud you.” 

Here I paused before continuing, “Why do you push others away from you?”

Esteire’s eyes widened slightly, revealing fine streaks of royal purple amidst the sapphire hue. What else was hidden in those never-ending depths?

“Push others away?” she repeats quietly then says more firmly but not louder, “If it seems that way, then that’s how it may seem to others, but I am most certainly not pushing you or anyone else away.”

“Then why are you looking at me like that?”

Her face showed surprise combined with confusion. “How am I looking at you Nico?”

“Like you’re still alone in this world.”

Her eyes flickered off to the side and on the ground.

I put my left hand under her chin. “Why, when there’s so many people around you who care about you? Why, when practically everyone who meets you instantly wants to get to know you?”

Pause.

“Any why,” I continue, “are you leaving?”

Pause.

She finally spoke up.

“There are things in this world that I can’t give up. That no matter how hard I try to tell myself to forget the past, or become the way I used to be, I can’t because some things are indelible, and very, very precious to me. 

Yes, I am selfish, but aren’t all humans selfish? That is human nature. I want to fight for what I hold dear, to bring back those memories that are growing dim everyday and as we speak. For the longer I stay here, the more I’ll forget. Every second I spend here with everyone like this chips away at those memories until it’ll be like I never had them in the first place.

I believe that you never remember anything the same way, that each time you stir up those thoughts, they change, even if ever so slightly, each time. One day, I won’t be able to recall anything at all.”

Pause.

“Does that mean you want to forget us?”

Her expression softened, and her voice was one of warmth.

“I could never forget any of you.”

My eyebrows furrowed.

“But didn’t you just say-”

Esteire put her forefinger on my lips.

With a gentle smile, she responded.

“I will return.”

And she left.