Beautiful Moment Ruined

With their downcast eyes upon me, I have turned away
Begun my own life. My own healing. Privately.
And oh, what a mess I’ve made tonight.
What I have been destroying tonight.

I have no responsibility tomorrow. And so I’ll have another and another.
I feel no shame.  My body aching and yearning for more.
I know I am playing a dangerous game. One I’ve played before.
I can’t believe how desperately weak in logic I am tonight.

We grow intrigued at a sudden rate, and  have graciously become one in ourselves.
Intrigued by nature. This monster has taken over.
But how we don’t seem to mind anymore.
What are we destroying tonight.

I sense that we are becoming loud. I sense that we are together as one.
I still feel shameless. It is now you that makes me ache and yearn for more.
I know this isn’t new to me. I’ve been down this road before.
I can’t believe I feel no shame for that tonight. Will I tomorrow?

Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. They become interested and ultimately lose sight
Of all logic they have. They see what a healing this can be.
And so they have another, and another. They see too late, that they’ve gone to far
Something has been destroyed this evening.
He went to far, and now she can't turn back.

Can’t turn back. Waking up still sick. Still sore.
Exhausted, and slightly alarmed.
And girl has learned that that night destroyed something once beautiful.

I feel as though I am dying. I am floating on a cloud, yet dying.
I recall every word said, everything done, it all doesn’t matter. I can’t pick up the pieces.
The pieces are scattered too far to attempt to pick up anyway.
All I have is worry. Shame.
Because now I am leaving. Forever. Never see you again.
I want to never see you again.
You know you ruined; destroyed beautiful.

Something beautiful may come out of this. And He did.
Will I be destroyed, and you live on?
I will never know. Because I don’t want to know you.
You destroyed me.