An Anecdotal Story

ANECDOTAL STORY:

PART I

Once with the intention of successfully stealth camping, I drove to the edge of a large forest in Maryland, equipped solely with a seven person tent, some italian sausage and black cherry wishniak. Upon painfully breaching the outer barrier of thickets that surrounded said forest I found that the area was wooded too densely to allow for the proper assembly of the ridiculously oversized seven person tent. Instead my friend Kevin (who accompanied me) and I were forced to crudely cook sausage over a small fire and sleep in a pile of leaves, whilst alternately taking swigs of wishniak. The evening (and this story) climaxed as we watched a DVD entitled "Family Weekend" on Kevin's lap top computer- it was a stunning drama about a young woman who is forced to kidnap her parents in order to restore order and balance to her family dynamic- the marvelous performance sent shivers down my spine. 

PART II

All was well and cozy as we shared a bed with the bugs until it started to rain… We were forced to abandon our site dragging a seven person tent through a wall of thickets for the second time that day. It began pouring harder and harder, Ill tell you, when it rains it pours. We ran dramatically through a residential area before finally reaching the safety of my car. But now where to sleep? I drove and drove far into the rainy night… 

PART III

Ending a series of events that is now difficult recall I found myself waking to the sounds of birds chirping the next morning in the parking lot of an old abandoned church that overlooked the most magnificent vista of green rolling hills and forestry. I flicked on the radio- a tornado was about to arrive. I was then in a race against the clock to return to my native home of Pennsylvania safely and soundly without being whisked off into the horizon (team rocket style) by a whisking whirlpool of God's wrath. By now the heavens opened with a torrential downpour as I sped down 1-95 with a tornado hot on my trail. I wisps of cloud were beginning to swirl as I peered in the rear view, a toll booth was ahead. "S**t" I muttered under my breath. I pulled up with an unscrupulously halting stop and rolled down the window. "That'll be $3.35" the woman in the booth said. I only had three bills, I screamed for Kevin to produce the exact change as the tornado grew larger and larger in the rear view. The change was produced and the woman gave us a stern look, "You boys be safe, I heard theres a tornado watch in effect today." Just as these words were spoken I hit the gas and shot out of the gate like a rocket, just barely escaping a small explosion that was produced by the tornado decimating the toll booth behind us. I was home free, it was a successful stealth camp after all- the end. 

This is all a true story save for some of the explosive bits. 

Moral of the story: Church parking lots make a good substitute for motels, Check the weather before you go stealth camping.