AIRLESS "Silence" (Chapter Two)

A certain level of numbness continued to consume me. Only a few short minutes had passed since my sister carried me blindfolded from the dark corner of my parents closet, but a smidgen of light fluttered beneath the brown fold used to cover my eyes. A crusty patch of blood filled the crack between two tightly knitted boards. My mothers toes flashed lifelessly beside it, but no evidence of my fathers body came to me, and for only a short amount of time did I hope he stood outside the bedroom door. The mental propulsion of emotions in a child's mind are hellishly cruel, and typically in the reasons of ignorance and misunderstanding of the traumatic experiences surrounding them.

My sister lifted the fold. No amount of people had ever been in my Kanna at one point in time. The torches lit the street gloomy at such an early hour. The odd occurrences would have terrified me if I had not been for my place in the closet--the utter shock lingered.

(^^ paragraph needs work.)

Avelynn sat me on the couch and spoke to me with strange wavelengths. "Ayva," she paused, I starred into her eyes tortured by the heaviness of reality. Her level of comprehension exceeded mine. "This lady would like to speak to you."

A flickering lantern stood tall on the tea table. It breathed a mellow light across the face of a stranger. Her expression became the image of the lantern as she spoke. I could focus on nothing else but that flickering flame, may it have a life or not.

The flame spoke: "Is your name Ayva?"

A conversation began in the kitchen. A young Avelynn spoke bravely and honest.

"My father placed me in the closet, and told me to be quiet...." Her voice distanced and came back. "What more is there to tell?"

A higher voice rung: "You saw nothing, heard nothing, did you feel anything? Maybe the ability of the--" he hesitated, "Individual?"

The world around me closed in recollection of the terrible beats against the floor. As my heart rate rose, a deep thud came and went in the pit of my ears--confusing me--separating me from reality when I knew directly in the back of my mind that he was gone. His mission had been accomplished and he fled.

My Mother and Father were taken from me.

"Ayva, will you speak with me?" the shrimpy woman urged me in a light tone.

I had often given my sister the silent treatment, but never another being under any circumstance in my mere ten years of life. The mechanisms in my brain seemed to lock in a forgotten place when my mother forced me into her closet, her timid voice: "Don't say a word" stuck with me for years. If she and my father lost their voice, then I lost mine as well the moment their bodies struck the hollow floor.

"Avelynn," the stranger turned to call my sister. "She's not speaking to me."

The candle flame flickered as if it burned in a crippled state, struggling to be heard, seen, touched, simply noticed? But suddenly it's glow hardened, and my sister stepped in between us.

"Ayva, if you know anything, please let this woman know."

With such little energy left within me, in my head I screamed, but communication with the outside world fell to an abrupt halt.

Avelynn stood, her knees level with my chest, and spoke: "I'm afraid you'll have to go in."

Confused, I took a gander at my cryptic sister. I didn't understand where anyone was going unless it was in my parents room?

The conversations around me tensed and fluttered to nonexistence. Candles and torches screamed an eerie popping, bending shadows as strange men and women slowly surrounded me.

My sister was no where in view. The woman with many or few attempts to get me to speak kneeled in front of me, blocking the candle and tea table. It now made more sense when she spoke: "I am a mind reader, Ayva." Her wrinkled lips did not match her young voice. "I can peer into your experiences through touch, but it can be slightly alarming. I need you to remain calm, and ignore your instincts."

A masculine voice: "Isn't she human?"

My sister responded: "She has no signs of abilities as far as I know."

Silence.

Seconds tapped by like the muffled dripping if water, outside after a hard rain.

The world became dark. A warm spot grew at the center of my forehead, and my mind contorted at her will. Flashes paged before my unopened eyes. Series of past events pulsed like the thunder of a distant storm. And soon, I found all elements of consciousness unreachable.

But it wasn't until after I woke from this painless coma that I met her, Avariti, in a hearing before the Village Council, her father our leader.

Author's Note

I'm not wanting to upload much more than this, but it'd be helpful to hear if I'm keeping it up, or loosing any spark that I may have had in my opening chapters. Feel free to give any thoughts. I welcome honesty.

Reviews

[Pete Langley]

Because I`ve not read chapter 1 , I`m not quite au fait with how much detail you`ve already revealed, but it sounds OK. Are you recalling this traumatic experience as a child in adulthood...if so, the syntax is fine, but if this is a narrative in real time through the eyes of the child, you need to simplify it and maybe expand the emotional reactions of the kid. Just a thought. Good uck with this. P.

[Christoph Poe]

Sorry it took me so long to respond.

Yes, it's a flashback of my main character as a child, and kinda difficult to write in some areas. I want to keep the past and present completely separated (for now), and sometimes I want to jump to the present.

I'm so worried about my actual writing getting in the way of my story though. That's why I keep seeking advice on this site.

Anyways, you're more than welcomed to check out the first two chapters, but I understand what it's like when someone hounds you to read their 'novel'. (Especially the really really bad ones...)

Take it easy, and thank you again for all your help. :)

--Chris

[James E. Peterson]

shows the ideas of a child as if a child really wrote it. excellent

[Hypnos]

i found it very interesting and am looking forward to it's continuation.