Backyard Dream

Just a little poem, remembering my younger days, in the backyard and lounging in a chair, after dinner.

BACKYARD DREAM

 

Crystal chimes singing softly, in the wind,

Moonlight sparkling, through branches overhead,

Night birds calling to their mates,

Clanging of women washing dinner plates,

Flapping of leaves, in the trees,

Cooling kisses from a summer breeze,

Candied scent of full, blooming flowers,

Glistening drops remaining from rain showers,

Shadows dancing across a shaven lawn,

Passing diamond studded stars, chased by dawn,

Watchful eyes of timid creatures, peeking from bushes,

Between its banks, the winding creek rushes,

Slimmy trails left by workers, in the garden,

Twilight hugs the world, when evening has fallen,

Abstract banging of children on a piano,

Swaying streamers hanging from the weeping willow,

Fireflies display blinking, neon signs,

There is a quiet appreciation, in my mind,

Floating, freely, on the solid illusion of a moonbeam,

And beauty is a backyard dream.

 

Good imagery

May 17, 2010

• Descriptive, fill me with imagery!
• Backyard Dream

Author's Note

I, often, sit out at night, but can't seem to get that peace-filled feeling back that I had, as a child.

Reviews

[emmah]

what a reminisce, this one! stroke by stroke, it adds colors and shades to the canvas and brings it to life. it is the picture of a perfect evening, coming alive, line by line, throughout this refreshing and endearing verse of yours.
there is a serene sense of quietness (as mentioned in your note, it seems to have stemmed from a peaceful place).
"crystal chimes", "moonlight", "night birds", "summer breeze", "blooming flowers", "rain showers", "timid creatures", "winding creek", "weeping willow", "fireflies display blinking, neon signs" - such quintessential images of evenings of bliss; they bring back in a multitude of hues all the elements that made childhood a dream, at least on hindsight. :)
in the surreal picture, there are beautiful shades of reality - "slimy trails left by workers", "absract banging of children on a piano", "clanging of women washing dinner plates" - that truly do amalgam the divinity of the evening with the reality, making it a tangible, visible, entity - sights and sounds that make me feel, as a reader, that i was there and living this verse with the narrator.
the last three lines truly do provide an apt and serene end to this lovely verse - especially "And beauty is a backyard dream" - in the quietest and subtlest way - speaks of that speck in the soul that lost childhood and probably, wants it back.
it's a gorgeous picture, your verse is!

[Sakib]

Nice thinking. I loved it. I like the flow of the poem.

[Lorraine]

I really like the beautiful imagery in the piece. The thing I'd watch out for is the comma placement such as the one in the first line "Crystal chumes singing softly, in the wind." The flow would be much better if that comma is removed.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[James Watts]

Very nice imagery in this. Flowed well and it was a bit nostalgic.

[Emily B]

it is beautiful work, I often wish to get those summer nights of my childhood back, too . . .

[Gandré]

This is so very humble, I love it...it seems that your greatest pleasure is to listening to your dreams and silence. It's like a bouquet from an unknown friend, so early this morning. I didn't sleep well. Wonderful.