The Journey of A Woman

This is the story about a woman.

Many long years and many lonesome nights passed.  Every day she hoped that he would come back. Back in Germany, her husband was working hard as a coal miner.  The letters she received gave her hope, but it wasn’t the same as being with her husband.   He told her he would come back soon, and she wondered when.  Would soon be this year?  Next year? Or more years?  Whatever it would be, she hoped it would be soon as he said.  Every year felt long and every day was filled with work and raising children, but she believed that he would return home.  And one day, she told herself, we’ll all be together as a family. 

Life without Byung ho wasn’t easy.  Raising five children all by herself and taking care of in-laws was part of her daily life.  She didn’t get to spend time much time with her children because of the work, but she made sure they would grow up well by teaching them with wise words and living by example in the way she carried herself and treated others.   She was an example of compassion as she fed a freshly prepared hot meal to beggars who came to her house, even at night.  She treated in-laws as well as her own family, and in time they grew to respect her and considered her their second mother not only because of way she treated them but what she did for them.  In everything, she did it with all her heart.  Every day she prepared a meal diligently for over 10 people without any help, and she packed homecooked lunches for her five children.   During those days, there was no gas stove in Korea.  She had to go every day and carry the water from a well far away as well as wood for cooking meals.  Her feet chafed from peeling rice every single meal and her arms and legs ached from all the work.  When she was done, the whole table was filled with food.   Her day started There was little time to herself after all the work was done and finally she was able to rest at night.  Of course, she knew it was tough to be a mom and daughter-in-law, but she also knew how things were when she was growing up.  It hadn’t been easy then either.  As the daughter of a poor family, she was expected to do much of the housework and cook meals for her family.  She was only nine and couldn’t go to school.  At that time, parents usually sent their sons to school, instead of daughters because of the lack of money and because they valued sons more highly than daughters.  The common idea that time was that men are superior to women, and Young sook’s family thought the same and felt that women’s role should be taking care of children and cooking.  Young sook was very disappointed when she was told she would not be going to school, but she was still curious about learning.  “Dad,” she said, “why can’t I go?”  Her dad replied, “Young sook, if you go to school, who’s going to cook and clean?  You’re not going.”  Sadness was in her heart, but she held her head up high and dutifully completed all the housework to the best of her ability.  This was her life every day.  Then came the news she wasn’t expecting at age 18.  One day her dad told her, “You’re at a marriable age.  A few weeks later you’re going to get married.”  At that time, children were supposed to obey their parents.  So she did not dare to question her father or argue.  When her wedding came, Young sook put her hanbok on and went to the neighborhood.  The wedding began, and Young sook faced her groom.  This is the man I’m marrying.  A man I just met a previous time passing by the neighborhood.  But what an attractive man, she thought.  Byung ho thought the same about her as he faced her as helpers washed their hands to clean them of their minds and body.  It had come time for their vows which meant bowing.  Young sook bowed to Byung ho twice, then Byung ho bowed once to Young sook.  Then Young sook bowed twice more, and Byung ho bowed once more.  She was married to Byung ho now.

Being married at a young age wasn’t easy on her.  Byung ho and her were very poor.  Byung ho went to school, and she had do housework all day long.  She was also expected to have children and take care of her in-laws. So she did, and worked hard with a pure heart.   Then one day Byung ho wanted to talk to her.  “Wife, Byung ho began, I have something to tell you.  You may or may not like it, but I want to become a coal miner in Germany.  I could make five times a worker’s income in Korea.  It’s a great opportunity.”  Young sook replied, “Byung ho, I think you should think about it more.  It’s more important to me that we stay together as a family.  We may not have much, but if we have each other, we will be happy.”  However, Byung ho, had a different idea in mind.  “Wife, if someone gives you the opportunity that may change your life for the better, wouldn’t you take it?  Our whole family could benefit from this income.  We wouldn’t have to worry about money like we do as much, and we could get out of this poverty.  I think it’s a good idea.  I know what you’re thinking, but I will always care for our family whether I’m here or not.  Things will work out.  I’m going to try it.”  Young sook wanted to plead with him to stay with her and not go, but he had a good reason.  They did need money, and Young sook didn’t want to stand in the way of the opportunity, so she told Byung ho with a sigh, “Ok.  I understand.  But remember to not make a hasty decision without thinking more.”  Byung ho thought it over and over, and the next day he told Young sook he decided to go.  With tears welling up in her eyes, she waved to Byung ho as he left. 

She kept in touch with Byung ho during his stay in Germany.  They exchanged letters and every day she looked forward to getting his letter in the mail. Her daughter wrote her letters and read Byung ho’s letters to her since she did not know how to read and write.  “Dear Byung ho,” she wrote, “I’m busy at home as usual.  I went to a parent conference today.  Everyone is doing well in school.  I hope you are doing well and eating well.  Hope you have a good rest of the day.”  Byung ho wrote back.  “Dear Young sook,  I’m doing well but it can be tough working here.  Don’t worry about anything though, my health is good and I’m eating well.  It’s good to hear from you.  Write back.”  Young sook wrote back and Byung ho wrote back several times, but it didn’t feel the same as being with him and she wanted him to come back.  “Byung ho, when are you coming back?” she wrote.  Byung ho wrote, “Young sook, don’t worry.  I’ll come back soon.  Once things are settled, I’ll arrange everything so we’ll all be together as one family.”  It was hard, but Young sook decided to trust Byung ho’s words.  Byung ho, I’m not going to worry.  When the time is right, come back, okay?” she wrote.

She waited in hopes that his words would come true, that they would be together.  Then, one day, she received the mail.  The mail felt a little heavier than usual.  She opened up the envelope and saw the letter and the plane tickets attached to it.  “Come to America,” he wrote.  She was ecstatic.  Finally she would meet up with him and they would live together.  A few days later, she left and arrived in America with her children and a suitcase containing a few clothes.

On May 25, 1975, she saw her husband.  She looked into his eyes.  Emotions overtook her mind, and she held back tears.  Her husband looked different, but he was still the handsome man she remembered him as.   He has changed, she thought, Now he is older and more mature.  But he looks as sharp as ever.  As she and the children were walking with him, she imagined what American life with him would be like.

She liked the life in America and appreciated the comforts of the American life.  There was a gas stove she could cook on, a bathtub where she could take a bath without going to a well, and a comfortable lazyboy chair she could relax on.  She lived with her family in a small house rented by her husband in very poor area with two bedrooms and a loft, so her children shared rooms.  But it’s still better than life in Korea.  I have running water, a stove, and I don’t have to sit on the floor, she thought to herself.  She decided to make money, so she went to a Chinese restaurant and got a job cleaning floors and preparing vegetables.  It wasn’t the most pleasant job, but at least she had income.  With all the money she earned, she bought groceries to feed her whole family.  Every morning she cooked breakfast for her children and went to work. The country was still foreign to her, the language a challenge, and the culture drastically different.  She barely knew English and she never went to school, so she decided to teach herself.  Every day she learned from books and a few months, picked up the language well enough to hold a meaningful conversation.  Driving was another challenge, but her son made the effort to teach her well.  She caught on fast and surprised everyone by passing the driver’s exam with superior marks.  Now she had the freedom to drive.

One day Byung ho told her he wanted to go to acupuncture school and open his own clinic.  She thought it would be a good opportunity for him, and liked the idea of him helping people get well.  So she told him it was a good idea and Byung ho went to school for acupuncture.  Every day Byung ho studied for many hours and sometime later, decided he was ready for his acupuncture licensing exam.  The time came, and Byung ho went up to take his test. “404” they called.  Byung ho went up and calmed himself down as he took the exam.  A few weeks later, he got the results back.  He passed.  Now he could open his own clinic.

He named his clinic Park’s Acupuncture Clinic.  It was a small office in California, but had all the rooms he needed.  Young sook helped him move his things into the office.   She looked around and saw the sunlight seep through the window.  What beautiful weather for a happy day like this, she thought.  She looked into the rooms and ran her fingers across the smooth countertop that was built in. This is like a great dream, expect it’s really happening, she thought to herself.  She was happy he had achieved all he set out to, and anticipated the best to come.

It started out with a few patients.  Byung ho was happy to treat them, and after some time, patients got better.  Soon they told their friends, and friends told their other friends, and the office was very busy.  Young sook helped Byung ho manage the business, and worked as the office receptionist. Business was growing, and Young sook took a moment to soak everything in.  She had so much to be thankful for, and she lived her life with dignity as if she believed that God was watching her.  Her life had started out rough, but it had all come to a good point.  She had a successful husband, children who loved her, had overcome tough obstacles and now was part manager of a business.  She learned that, if you accept hardships the way they are and look forward, good things might just happen to you.  And if not, you just need to keep trying to make the best of your circumstances.  Life tests you through difficult times and teaches you many things, and some of the greatest lessons are revealed through hardships. She had the strength and wisdom, and she would keep this moment in her heart forever. Yes, she thought, it is a life well spent, and there’s only the best to come.  She smiled. This was a great beginning for the rest of her life.