Missing You

Missing you

It's crazy I know

Waiting here, wishing I were there

Praying that time will fly past

'Till I can be in arms that have never held me

Yearning for lips I've never kissed

 

Missing you

It's all I can do

'Till the day you arrive

I'll be waiting, craving

Searching for your face, hoping silently

My heart's desire to embrace

 

Missing you

One hundred days more

I count the minutes, the seconds

Just to see them pass

Yet I know the wait is worth the reward

When missing you turns inevitably to joy!

Reviews

[Stephen]

I first read this 64 days ago. Each time I read it, it's more powerful than the last time. At times, it brings a tear to my eye because it conveys to me the depth of feelings Christiane has.

Bernadette's review is a very fair one, in my opinion.

I *might* be a wee bit biased in saying that though :)

[[untitled]]

One thing I would never do is try to rewrite someone's thoughts. I know Christiane so I know who she is talking about and the distance between them. But if I didn't it wouldn't matter. Christiane's poem is beautiful and simple.

I don't need to know who you are missing, it doesn't matter if they are the military, away for work or anything. You can miss people on all levels. I miss my dog because I boarded him, but it is a different type of missing that Christiane is refering to. We can all miss someone and jot down a little something about that missing without being specific and the intent comes across.

I don't understand how one would see that 100 days more are days that passed. I read this poem a few days ago and completely understood the author of the work missed someone and had one hundred days before she would be with the person she loved. Adding "only" is not something that is needed.

And yes people do count the minutes and seconds just to see them pass. When you are longing for someone like the author is, trust me, you would too. Just because one doesn't see the author doing it, doesn't mean it won't or hasn't happened.

Obivously I am contradicting Tiger's comments. It is not why I came over to read the poem. I just politely disagree. The review, in my humble opinion, was more of a rewrite of the way the reviewer would write it. The feedback I read would not have improved the poem in my opinion. I am not saying it would have made it worse, it is just a different type of display of the same feeling. The feeling is just felt differently by the reader and author.

[Christiane Hart]

Tiger, I will have to remain politely in disagreement with you.

Poetry is a form of art that is meant to speak not only of the writer's emotions, but to the emotions of the person reading or hearing it. Therefore it is highly unnecessary for me to state the exact intentions or relationship to myself of the person the poem is written for - as you yourself said, that makes it accessible to a far larger number of varying long-term relationships, all of which do involve a period of distance, of waiting, however boring that may be in your eyes.

I do hope this helps you understand my lack of specifics. To me, while a story or a screenplay needs a whole lot of very specialized information, poetry is exempt - hence the term, "poetic license"

[Benjamin L. Weekly]

Ok so it doesn't want to let me edit. Here is my edit:
Missing you
one hundred days more

Is *not* in incorrect tense.

[Benjamin L. Weekly]

Hey here's that second look you asked for. It seems obvious that this poem holds a lot of meaning to you personally. It seems most of the points I mentioned in my last review came across different than intended, so I'll clarify them. There is no need for a second review.

Ok, first point:
"Till the day you arrive
I�ll be waiting,"
It seems there was a slight mis wording on my part in the original review. I don't suggest "Craving, craving". What I meant was to simply say "I'll be craving". Having said that, that would make the line a little short, interrupting the flow. My opinion as a fellow writer tells me that this line would be better without the word "waiting", but rather something more feeling that comes from the heart of the author.

As far as counting time, in this section:
I count the minutes, the seconds
Just to see them pass

Here it sounds like you are counting time for counting times' sake. Instead of "Just to see them pass" I would suggest something like: "Because you come closer as they pass" or something of it's ilk. This better conveys your intent.

As far as what I said in the beginning of my original review about being unsure of the missed person's identity, relationship, length of absence, I still don't see those things in the poem. Is this person a boyfriend/husband on military duty? Or is it someone the author simply admires, since, as is stated in the first, he has never held her, and their lips have never met. That is unclear to me as I read the poem.

While you stated to me that 100 days is the time, the area in the poem where it is presented is in an incorrect tense.
"Missing you
One hundred days more "
The way this is phrased carried the impression to me that these 100 days had already passed, as if we were seeing the "misser" for lack of a better word fast forwarded over 100 days, still counting the minutes and seconds to their next meeting. A simple solution is to add the word "only" to the beginning of 100 days more. That will eliminate the possible confusion that came upon me.

I hope my suggestions can help, and I hope I cleared up some misconceptions. I also hope your meeting will be as happy as you wish it to be. Best wishes - Tiger

[Christiane Hart]

I humbly suggest that the previous reviewer reads this one over.

He is confused as to how long the 'missing will be' when the poem states -
"One hundred days more".

He suggests that I change the line,
"Till the day you arrive, I�ll be waiting, craving"
to "I'll be craving, craving"

And tries to tell me that I don't count the seconds just to see them pass when honestly I do - because I know that every second, every minute brings me closer to my beloved.

Honestly, Tiger - re-read the poem as a personal favour to me, then give me a truly well-thought out review! I would truly appreciate that.

[Benjamin L. Weekly]

This is a universal emotion, one I experience at present. That's why I stopped by. I like the poem on the whole, not sure of any particular spot though. This one had me a little confused as to how long the missing will be, who is missed, what's the relationship, etc, so it was hard for me to feel the emotions you presented. Also check out these things I found:

"Till the day you arrive
I�ll be waiting,"

Waiting is boring, both in real life and in a poem. Since this poem is not trying to convey boredom, I'd suggest just dropping the word "waiting" and sliding "craving" into it's place.

"hoping silently"

You don't need "silently" here. Unless you insert a noise the reader will automatically assume silence.

"I count the minutes, the seconds
Just to see them pass"

Really? You count time just to watch it go by? Somehow I don't believe that. Try something like: "Thinking of what to say to you" or something else.

Good luck Christiane.