Introduction

                 

 

 

 

       Decisions

 

 

 

Decisions don't make man; it makes us for who we are.Though what is our true destiny;for the good or for the bad No where to go No place to hide No one to trust Just a open road of choices So make the decision Good or Bad.Is there a path in the middle.......

 

 

 

                   -Christian Lebron

 

 

Intro:

  

  Alexander Livett has many secrets in his life time such as being a wizard and holding the ancient Book of the Red Moon. 

  

  He was born on October 2, 1995 at a small village at Vairincrot in the necromancy world. Next came Isabel on February 18, 1996 and then his younger brother Edgar, born March 13, 1996. 

  

  After the rise of King Artavius, his parents Frank and Jasmine escaped his rule to the human world, since they knew the world wasn't heading to a great future from his rise and possession for immortality. 

  

  Now the family lives their pleasant years as a human, though many things will occur which will change their live forever, even Alexander for discovering the Book of the Red Moon, The Moon Rubri, in the mail box of their home. 

  

  He hasn't told only of his family members of the book and is keeping it a secret except Edgar, who is very trustworthy. As Alex reads through the book he opens the key to immortality and the secrets never told to man. 

  

  But one mustn't trust the secrets behind the book and the secrets for they tell lies to trick ones mind into doing what isn't suppose to be done. Everyone will be tested and be experiencing their worst of fears.

Author's Note

please rate and comment. hope you enjoy

Reviews

[Lou Briggs]

The poem at the beginning is nice (the series of periods at the end aren't necessary), but, since I haven't read the rest of the book, it doesn't make sense. So I'm hoping it will later on.

I realize this is an intro (and I'm glad you're calling it that, rather than a chapter), but this is so very biographical. It might work on the back of a book as a synopsis, but if that's what you're aiming for, it might be wise to specify.

Are Isabel and Edgar his siblings? If so, their ages don't match up (the human gestation period is 40 weeks, or 9 months, and Isabel is only 4 months younger, and Edgar is 5). If their sorcerer parents have something to do with this, you need to say so. Otherwise, it just seems like a mistake. Basically, Jasmine's pregnancies would've overlapped, and that's impossible.

The fifth "paragraph" switches from past to present tense. Also, the first sentence doesn't make sense - it's seems like it's missing a verb or something.

Quite honestly, this is an info dump. If you do a good job with exposition in your first few chapters, this intro is completely superfluous. I realize you're trying to get your readers to understand your protagonist's background, but that's what the story is for - you should work on incorporating this information into the actual chapters themselves.

Also, ask yourself how much of this is necessary? The birthdays? Do they have some kind of significance? In books, they hardly do (unless there's some prophecy or something concerning the date). Also, do you have to explain everything about his parents //now//? Wouldn't it be best if the reader came upon that naturally, in story as Alexander casually mentions it to someone?

I hope that helps; I'll try and read more soon!

-Lou

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Really interesting and cool so far!

[Meat of Dog]

I like the poem at the beginning. It's very true. This is a good, quick introduction to the story, especially with the way it dove right into the action. This story has quite a few interesting themes all merged together, such as dimension jumping, magic, ext. I've read the first part (not sure how I missed this intro). I'll be excited to read part 2!

other suggestions:

-" Now the family lives their pleasant years as a human, though many things will occur instantly which will" I would remove the word instantly.