STOP

I wish I could

STOP

Do it all over again

STOP

And remember the way

STOP

We dreamed

STOP

And laughed

STOP

and cried

STOP

And tried

STOP

To make this work

 

Author's Note

Just processing a break-up. I'm sure there will be more to come.

Reviews

[Nicole Hellene]

Good. I enjoy this kind of poetry. A blunt and blatant message that is conveyed in an original way, preferably a way that slams you into a wall to get a message across. Thank you for not degenerating into a whole page long of sulky poetry. Keep up the original work.

[Michael Kerr]

are all your poems short?

-mike kerr-

[Blackbirdsong]

I really enjoyed the way you used repetition to express yourself in this poem. The short lines also have a sense of agitation and upset that really added a lot of punch to what you've written here. I think you add to this because it feels as if you haven't pushed this poem as far as it could go. It feels too short to me and I would really love to see where you can take it, if you like of course. There are so many layers to our feelings that it's impossible to get to the bottom of them. Well done :)

[Adela Muresan]

Hmmm...original way of expressiong regret and longing for love.
Nice piece.

A.M.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Is this the inner battle between a lover longing for lost memories and a more circumspect self? Haven't we all fought this terrible battle within ourselves at some point in our life?

Very succinctly illustrated.

[Sammie]

This is a very good piece.
I can see the pain that you're feeling, and I personally think it's a very good way to relieve tension.. to write about things such as this.

Thank you for the great read, dear.

[Steven]

wow. this is great. in so few words you get your message across. plus it's beatiful. luv it

[Marlton]

The refrain of 'STOP' works really well. It's like you're in someone's head whose trying not to dwell on all the pain and regret as keeps asserting their positive talk, which, of course fails in the light of such powerful emotions. Simple but very effective.

[JRB]

love lost was never found, its just a passing of whats coming. enjoyed it,
Jan/uisiom

[Michael X]

Painfully invented, and well written, heartwrenching in ways christel,
the form is captivating because it accentuates the reasoning,
and what it means to want, regret and move on- in the same stratus.
Written in essence to the concept, You have a great way with minimal wording.
artful and convicting, Nicely done.