falling for you

your heart a puzzle

your thoughts all jumbled

you longed

as i longed

yet you pulled back

unsure

leaving me broken and confused

with thoughts of what to do

yet you gave me your heart

i put it together

and learned about you

your not so different from me

yet i find you perfectly complete

you make me laugh

with every kiss

you melt my heart

you longed

as i've longed

you filled the emptiness

as i fixed your jigsaw heart

you made me whole

i made you brand new

your so real, so true

pardon me, but i cant stop

falling for you

Reviews

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

Dope! Very "Corrine Bailey Rae" with the creativity, but raw emotion that you convey! Love the metaphors and natural flow of the piece. I'm snapping my fingers in applause.....

[Rodney Carlstrom]

I really liked this poem. I think that if you're wanting to improve it, jazz it up a bit and make it flow a little bit better, that you need to space the stanzas out. Your line count is 25, so you could make one stanza an odd ball three lined stanza. (My suggestion with that, would be to make it a stanza that stands out and sums up your poem all at once. Maybe something at the end? That way it leaves the reader mystified.) I found a few spots that I know of, that you could space at. Use punctuation and don't forget to capitalize your 'I's. Other than that, I think it's a very well written poem. I'll be interested to see what else you post on here!