Tear Away

Work in progress. Any advice gladly accepted.

Lies beneath the happy surface,
The heart of glass... in pain.
No kisses or love to console,
Only misery to gain.

 

Behind the glowing blue eyes,
Secrets buried... deeply hidden.
No visions of brighter tomorrows,
Searching these eyes is forbidden.

 

Concealed inside the chipper voice,
A weariness of living.
You hear no truths from her,
Only deception is she giving.

 

Locked away, forever forgotten,
The secretly flowing tears.
She's bottled it all up,
Doubts, memories, and fears.

 

Explosion of the soul,
She rips and tears her face.
Clawing at her silky skin,
Breaking down in disgrace.

 

Writhing in pain, crying out,
Blood trickles to a stream.
She falls amongst her demons,
And no one hears her scream.

Reviews

[Choosing Life]

Wow.. Sounds like your spen has been connected to my soul...

Inner turmoil that no see is the worst.


I loved the way you vividly showed the inner image in contrast to the outer...

Excellent Scribe

[Brenda Sue]

I could feel the sorrow. Great write.

[Candle in the wind]

The poem reeks with the cries of silent agony,stifled tears and muffled screams ...very well evoked

[Wolfwind Words]

Wow, What power! I could feel the sorrow and torment as the lines went by. Tragic ending, yes. But thats a reminder to all that people need to be there to help those in need, less others get to that point of falling into their demons and screaming. Great work!

[IMOGEAN]

I have been to this place you describe so vividly. Not fun, but a great poem.

[Angel Bird]

Your poem so soft on the surface, but between the lines a truth heavy to bear. Good rhythm. Great writing!!

[poddar kushal]

your heart is certainly soft, so are your words. it is a silky poem.

[Trouble Smurff]

Your poem is written very well. I like it a lot. Great job!

[oneZtwoLLs]

Your poem gave me goosebumps. It is well written and emotionally charged. Good write.