The last breath

read it

        

 

        

I don't know anymore        If 1 can take it,

        I don't know anymore        Which way I should go

        For this life is a thief        It has stolen my resistance

        All my hope and all my joy And there's nothing left to show.

 

I am empty in my soul

And my heart is torn asunder

All these questions without answers

Leave me here alone to wonder

 

        

I don't know anymore The right way from the wrong way

I don't know anymore Which road will lead me home

For this life is like night and it fills me up with darkness

My eyes are blind, I stumble through this nighttime world alone

 

I am hungry though I've eaten I am thirsty though I drink

I am lonely though surrounded I am swimming, still I sink

 

I have taken all I can from this world in which we live

It has taken all it can but the life that beats within

For this world is like the winter It has frozen all my senses

I am numb, I feel nothing But the winter wind inside

 

I am clothed, yet I feel naked

I have wealth yet I am poor

I have shelter still I shiver

Have so much, yet still need more.

 

I don't know anything And I can't take it anymore

I nolonger have the strength To fight this tug of war

I surrender to the night And I hope I'll be alright

As the nighttime wraps around me And I have to fight no more.

 

Now I lay me down to sleep

In the dark my soul I'll keep

Cut this cord and slip away

Forever night, no more today.

 

Reviews

[Lively]

Nice poem, but you should not leave hope. Life is what we want it to be. One who is optimistic in the hardest situations is a true human. Try living life for others.

[Ivor]

Sorry, had to comment on this also, this gets inside your head, puts you in the mood/emotion. Extremely well expressed, it's the feeling that this type of poetry needs to express, any further images, explanations for me would have ruined it's power.

Type of poetry you can spend minutes reading and hours experiencing.

kudos


Ivor

[Snuggles McClintock]

you do a lot of telling in this piece...most story tellers do, yeah?
But I wanted an image to cling to. I'll provide an example. You tell me:

I am empty in my soul
And my heart is torn asunder

i want an exact event that makes the narrator feel this way, not just the words.

[Tomás Ó C..]

Life is a theif... it steals our joys and wears us down...

[deleted]

Very powerful YET beautiful piece! It flowed like water off a beatuiful deltoid leaf. "Through this nightime world"...very well versed. Trying to understand life is an arduous task. The message was voiced perfectly.

It was consistent till the last line. Well done!