A Minute

You wanted that to be the last time you saw her, but you had this feeling you wouldn't quite get what you desired. She was cruel, every bit. She sunk down deep into portions of you that you had deemed closed for eternity. Slipping through cracks that you had cemented with time and had grouted over with new experience. With this weighted f*****g chisel, she hacked at the inner most parts of you. Just scraping the boundary of your very being. It was a sharp pain that she brought. This sharp pain housed a kind of approval in you. It was toxic; feeding off of tearing of the soul. Wasn't this damn angel supposed to be healing you and you her? Wasn't the conscious mind that you hold so dearly, supposed to stand up in disapproval? What made you want to feel this dissonance of mind? It was in the pain that lied at least a shimmer of acceptance. It was the embrace of another that led you to take such a beating and love every minute of it. 

You've smothered the flames of her "love". The flames that lapped themselves against your bare soul. You've released the pain and are now granted euphoria in everyday life. This must be the life of a god that you live now. You must be in an unworldly place to experience such bliss. But you were back at home weren't you? Just sitting in that f*****g beat up recliner, looking for a way to pass the day. And maybe for a minute she would come back across your mind. Maybe for a minute, you missed the s**t out of her. Maybe for a minute. But what's a minute among years? What are years among a lifetime? This was the very justification you needed, coincidentally, to convince yourself it was a good idea to call her. You won't. Not yet anyway. It was the middle of the summer and the abundance of sun would hold your depressive mood over for a month at least. And maybe then you might see her again. If only for a minute.

Reviews

[J.P. Bristow]

You have painted this obsession......hopefully seeing it in ink will reveal that you are worth more than pain and doubt. Love is fierce-complicated and wonderfully messy but not ever cruel.

[Owen]

Brilliant, unsettling in the best of ways. I especially like this line "She sunk down deep into portions of you that you had deemed closed for eternity. Slipping through cracks that you had cemented with time and had grouted over with new experience." I myself can relate to this, as I imagine most would. A moving and deliberate piece, Chris.