A storm rises

There is an esoteric meaning behind this. It's not just about loss but of the symptom of sleep induced upon society and about our fate being not of our own to make.

All I am is everything you say

My fate ordained before my first breath

Though I shield my eyes at the sun's first ray

All that awaits is that moment of death

How do we seek with covered eyes

With the storm drowning the land

For a single voice to give hope rise

Is our blood on that outstretched hand?

There is a song upon the storm

A whisper on those icy lips

A new land from old takes form

Broken by backs upon golden whips

Hunt the soul that's lost in the rain

Kiss the fog and lose it all

Forgive yourself and forget the pain

And prepare yourself for the timely Call

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

The over all message is hinted at far too many times, some correcting is needed but even my s**t needs it. I liked where your going, just question the post time.

[Decanter Red]

This applies much to real life...and a bigger picture. I like that very much, especially the first paragraph. It is short, simple and poignant. Oh, and the rhymes score a portion of the points since I find it more pleasant to read poetry that has rhymes...it is part of the beauty which is not shared with other form of writing, such as stories.

[Christopher Angel]

Thank you for your kind words. I am glad you like it! I've written poetry that do not rhyme but the ones that do are challenging and those are more fun to write :)

Also that bit about a rhyming story...I'm tempted to experiment haha

[Decanter Red]

Hahaha! Wait...a rhyming story...ain't that just like poetry? :P

[Christopher Angel]

yes but longer and with more elaborate set pieces. Wow, just thinking of the crafting along is giving me a headache. If writing something like that doesn't kill you, I don't know what will!

[Decanter Red]

Complex plots and researching (if you write era genres) will. It nearly killed me once.

[Christopher Angel]

It kills me everyday. You should read my story, The Dead Lands.

[Decanter Red]

I checked it. The story surely looks long! I added it to my reading list, will read and review in detail when I have more time :)

[Christopher Angel]

I'd appreciate that! It's far from over though

[Glen Yumang Manese]

You get philosophical with this write... This first stanza reflects life itself... and the rest of the stanzas just add to the idea... the reader must look into this verse to really balance out the intent of your words...

[Christopher Angel]

Yes I deliberately wrote it as an esoteric piece. I of course know the motivation behind this but half the joy is having the words interpreted by others.

And you are right, most of the meaning of the poem is heavily etched in the first verse. I'm glad you noticed it! Thank you for commenting.