journal entry

So I bought my bestfriend some really cool stuff for her birthday, I really hope she likes it.  I bought her some perfume that smells really sweet at when I think about after buying it I hate myself cause I feel selfish that I only want her to wear it for me.  She kissed me after we got coffee, I wanted to keep kissing her, I miss her looking into my eyes, I miss those random kisses, even if we never get back together holding hands and kissing just holding hands I feel like I can keep holding onto something special.  I wonder if she knows that every time I see her my heart races,  she could wake up no make up hair a mess and there ain't a damn thing I would change about her cause to me she still looks so damn beautiful.  I need to get over the fact that she doesn't want a relationship with me but she wants to date Travis.  I need to be a better friend and support her with that.  I will never like any guy she dates but I have to get over that because I want her in my life no matter who she ends up dating.  Someone was like bro she ain't gonna date you anymore why are you still trying to be with her?  simple answer was because no matter how many fights we get into no matter how mad we get at each other we are still together.  We are still friends and we are there for each others highs and lows.  Things people don't understand is how f*****g amazing kels is they don't see what I see, she's not just some "girl" she's smart as hell and freaking amazing, she's a good person and I love every thing about her.   Honestly there's no guy who desevers her love.  She gives it but people keep f*****g up like me, I say the wrong things all the time but omg when she's mad she still looks cute asf.