journal entry 13.5

The other night was one of the most painful nights. she talked about breaking up because of her parents.  She cried for a bit and I told her not to cry because it would make me cry.  After she fell asleep on the phone I just couldn't hold in my feelings anymore.  With the music I was listening to I just burst like a dam.  The water pouring from my eyes could sink a boat. I tried so hard not to wake her up.  I can't see myself without her in my life,  I want us to work and I know we're going to work.  Sometimes she's a bit rough around the edges but when we're together we fit together like a puzzle. Age keeps coming up in our discussions,  I really could care less that I am 8 years older than her, I found someone who lets me be me.  When she gets annoyed at me she makes the most adorable faces.  Sometimes she comes over on the weekends and we get to have a few hours of alone time with each other.  I never told her this cause I don't want her to think there's something wrong with her. Now don't get me wrong I love making love to my girlfriend I get to share that special part of me with her, but sometimes I really just want to wrap my arms around her pull her in close and let her fall asleep on my chest.  Sleeping is so much easier so much more peaceful and relaxing when I've got her in my arms.  When we wake up in the morning I never want to take her home.  I feel a part of me dying when she walks up the drive way to go back home.  I check her out before I leave, she is always looking so damn hot.  I have no idea how I got so lucky to have this girl in my life.  If we do break up there will never be another girl like her that could take her place that fills my heart.   Something funny, sometimes when we text I will stop and start talking and than realize we are still texting and not on the phone together.  Starting to crash I need some more sleep, my puppy has no chill button. She has woken me up at the most random of times to go outside for no other reason than to go outside.  Love her to death though. I can't wait till my girl gets to spend actual quality time with our puppy.