Journel entry 10 Work

So last night my girlfriend asked me why I don't fight for her.  I do I fight for her everyday,  I have had to tell some people to piss off and that it's non of their business.  I have ignored the people who have told me to leave you because I can't leave you I will not leave you, I love you.  I don't understand what's going on with you and why you keep pushing me away every time I try to pull you closer.  I am working on being less sensitive to things and not getting mad every time you punch me or call me a mean name which I don't really understand why you would call me certain things in the first place but it's okay.  I have taken the abuse long enough from everyone I have ever met to just push it deep inside and not let it out.  All I have ever done is shown you how much love someone can give to someone else.  After finding out certain things I just want to tell everyone to f**k off that it's non of their business.  My parents love you to death and ask when you're coming over again?  That's a shocker cause they don't ask me that whenever I have brought someone over but I guess it's because you talk to my parents.  My ring finally can fit on my finger again. No idea what happened but my finger got all bloated to the point I almost dislocated my finger trying to get the ring off. I just got thinking about how f*****g tired I am getting about finding out about all the whispering going on at work and the whispers of my bosses.  We're non of their concern.   I always wonder why you get so mad at me all the time for no reason or get annoyed about things that are so small over nothing?  After hearing what the boss said that all the girls keep wanting to talk to me and than they're telling you this that really bothered me cause I just don't see it maybe I am just blind.  I figured I talk to everyone and I try to help everyone when I can not just one person.  I am sorry if maybe you're getting jealous of that but you don't have to worry about anything.  There isn't a single person I want at work except for you.  I really want to tell this one girl at work to seriously stop calling me babe it freaks me the f**k out and it makes me so damn uncomfortable.  I have told her several times before to not call me babe and I refuse to give her a high five now cause she keeps trying to hold my hand and that is super f*****g weird.  The only time I will ever hold someone's else's hand that is not you is if I am hurt to the point I can't walk on my own or if I slip and fall and need help back up.  I am almost to the point of getting over the microphone and telling everyone to quit lying and to quit trying to break us up. It's not their concern.... Haley I found out when she saw my cuts I asked her not to tell anybody and what does she do she runs in to AJ and starts telling him all types of s**t.  She has a really big mouth and likes to run and tell people things that isn't the exact truth, like when she told you I have a son and it's like well that's pretty f*****g impossible when the kid is f*****g black!!! I don't even get with black girls I am not attracted to them in anyway possible.  I don't get Haley I think she loves the drama s**t cause her boyfriend is a million miles away.  I can't even trust saying anything to her without her running back to you and flipping every word I have said to her around.  There are sometimes at work where I just want to grab your hand take you to the car and just run away from everything,  don't care where we go as long as you're right there by my side. I don't know who to trust at work anymore with secrets besides Alex who seems to be pretty trust worthy when it comes to keeping her mouth shut about things since AJ can't even keep his mouth from closing.  I always find it funny when he asked me to not say anything to anyone about him and Alex but when I mention something to him about us he runs over to you and decides to just start telling you all types of things and than he too also says some s**t that I never said cause he thinks it's funny.  I am getting to the point I am not gonna talk to anyone at work anymore cause people love the drama bullshit.  AJ has no idea how many times I have had to tell people nothing is going on between him and Alex and I have had to make up some bullshit on things so people will quit asking me why they're doing this or that. Anyways I am gonna go and get some food maybe I'll write some more later when I get back.