Pale BlueA Stage Play by Chrissie Muldoon As an atheist man and Christian woman contemplate what makes them a better person than the other, 2 begrudging angels (one moreso than the other) decide to help give them clarity. A play about love. CAST OF CHARACTERS WOMAN---- any age between 25-50. Her
clothing, hair and make-up are simple, nothing to imply fashion or beauty in a
physical way. MAN---- any age between 25-50. His
appearance mirrors that of Woman, in that his appearance is simple and plain. THEY---- a female actor. Any age. She is
dressed in a suit, but with a bit of flare, showing off her individuality. THEM---- a male actor. Any age. Also dressed in a suit very similar to They’s,
but not made to ‘stand out’ in any way. *WOMAN and MAN should be cast close in age, and THEY and THEM would preferably be cast in opposite ages, making one appear much younger than the other. The gender of the characters can also be swapped. SETTING In the place between Now and After ** This outline isn’t a literal scene from the play. It’s showing the ideas I would like to explore, as well as introducing the characters to the audience and the ways in which they interact with each other. _______________________________ (A black
box stage. There are very little set pieces: two chairs, being used by MAN and WOMAN,
and two step ladders, atop which sits THEY and THEM. WOMAN sits
DSL, and MAN sits DSR. They are facing completely opposite each other, both
hunched over in their chairs. THEY and THEM, who are slightly further UCS,
appear as the image of The Two Cherubs, but as if they are their grown up
versions: THEY, sitting on the left, is chewing her nails, and THEM, sitting on
the right, has his head resting on his crossed arms as he is reading an unknown
book. MAN and WOMAN look annoyed, and THEY and THEM look somewhat bored. Other
than the occasional grunt or sigh, it is silent. WOMAN
stands quickly and turns to THEY and THEM, looking up reverently with her hands
clasped. MAN stands at the same time, but turns to face the audience, looking
out to his fellow man. They both stand, looking in opposite directions, but
take one, hard look at each other, as if they are about to punch each other out.
WOMAN turns back to face THEY and THEM, and MAN turns his head back to the
audience.) WOMAN: Do you
understand how f*****g difficult it is to live in this world with atheists? MAN: Do you
have any idea how f*****g frustrating it is to live in this world with
religious people? (THEY and
THEM give each other ‘a look’, roll their eyes, then go back to their
respective tasks.) WOMAN: I know
that I’m a flawed human, but my faith helps me work through that. MAN: I try my
damndest to be a good human, and that is without some book or invisible man in
the sky telling me what to do. WOMAN: I mean,
I don’t hate the LGBTQIA community, and by extension, I don’t believe that You
do. MAN: Sure, I
swear more that I should, but never in front of kids or grammas. WOMAN: I eat
more vegan food to reduce my carbon footprint. MAN: I recycle
and compost bloody everything. WOMAN: It
seems sometimes that all of those feral, rabid atheists think that all
Christians are pathetic, shame- filled virgins… even after marriage. But I had
sex well before marriage, many times, and with men that I didn’t wind up
marrying. But I don’t think of myself as some shameful w***e, because all of
those times it was with a person I loved. Well… I wasn’t in love with all of
them. But if I didn’t know someone long enough to love him, it was at least a
fun, consensual experience. Afterall, I am not some religious prude. MAN: It seems
sometimes that all of those Jesus losers think that all atheists are all some
kind of kind of sex crazed, hedonistic libertines. Believe it or not, I’ve
actually not had too many girlfriends, and I don’t have sex with people that I
don’t care about. And I have absolutely no regret over the fact that I’ve had
sex with (counts quickly on his fingers) four women. Well, maybe a
little regret. But I had a one night stand once, and I was depressed about it
for about two weeks afterward. It just felt empty somehow, like not caring for
her made it not as good. But that wasn’t out of some sort of Sunday school shame
or guilt around it. Afterall, I’m not some religious prude. WOMAN: Whenever
I’m confused or scared, I pray and ask Your guidance so I can best help my
fellow man. MAN: If s**t
happens in the world, I strive to help in any way that I can, because I believe
that it’s the right thing to do. WOMAN/MAN: I
am a good person. WOMAN: If only
they saw You, had faith in You, saw the good that You are to those who believe
in You, this world would be a better place. MAN: If only
they realized that it’s all bullshit, that they can make their own decisions
not based on some xenophobic, homophobic, archaic book and imaginary magic man,
this world would be a better place. WOMAN: My
faith doesn’t make me a bad person. MAN: My free
thinking doesn’t make me a bad person. (They point
to each other.) WOMAN/MAN: So
why does that prick try their hardest to make me feel like I am? (LX fade
slightly on WOMAN and MAN, and come up on THEY and THEM. They look at each
other, and THEY motions to THEM that he can speak. He takes a breath, but THEY interrupts
him.) THEY: Do you
have any f*****g idea how frustrating it is sitting up here for eternity,
watching humanity s**t the bed during their physical existence? THEM: (trying
to calm her.) Alright---- THEY: Do you
have any idea how infuriating it is to listen to humanity whine their lives
away about stuff they’ve done, yet expect us to fix? It is absolutely
astounding the sheer lack of accountability that humanity has for the crap that
they’ve gotten themselves into. I mean really, take these two s**t-birds for
instance---- THEM: Yep, ok,
how about you take a walk and cool down, alright? THEY: No, I
want to complain about humans more! THEM: Well
then, going for a walk will give you a chance to shape your argument, won’t it? THEY: My
argument is, I hate Humanity. (THEY gets
off of the ladder and walks around the back edges of the stage, prowling like a
bear. THEM turns back to the audience and sighs.) THEM: What my
colleague means to say is that it’s getting harder and harder after… well… as
she said, an eternity of being treated as if we aren’t doing our jobs, when
really, sometimes it’s that humans---- (pause) Well, humans tend to have
a way of wearing their victimhood like it’s a badge, and act as if only they,
the individual, has suffered. THEY: (from
somewhere in shadows) Life craps on everyone, a******s! THEM: (speaking
over THEY) Granted, it isn’t the easiest to hear, nor does it helps us to
do our job when we are underappreciated, even though we were literally made for
this. But it’s a bit heart breaking that humans don’t seem to realize that
their salvation actually does lie within each other. (During his
speech, THEY slowly makes her way back to her perch next to THEM, and she
interrupts him.) THEY: Yeah, so
as I was saying, take these two s**t-birds for example. One wants us to fix the
problem and will be in a crap mood until she gets her desired outcome. The
other believes that we are the reason for the problem, even though he doesn’t
think we exist, and will be in a crap mood until he gets his desired outcome. (Looks
incredulously at THEM.) A******S! (THEY
exhales loudly as THEM puts a sympathetic arm around her shoulders.) THEM: I know
you’re annoyed, but are you ready? THEY: I don’t
wanna! (THEM gives
her a knowing look, and THEY sighs resignation. Slowly, the two descend their
ladders.) THEY: (under
her breath) God should just hit them with another space rock. (THEM
glares at THEY and points to WOMAN, as THEM goes to MAN.) (LX come back up on WOMAN and MAN.) (*Writer’s
Note: WOMAN and MAN can’t hear each other, nor can they hear the other
person’s companion. The implication of the following dialogue is that THEY and
THEM are asking the same questions to their respective person.) THEY: What’s
your problem with him? MAN: Were you
not listening to a thing I said? THEM: I was
listening, I just think it’s a bit harsh. WOMAN: ‘A bit
harsh’? You’re seriously siding with the atheist over me?! THEY: I’m not
siding with anyone, all I’m saying is that it seems like your letting your
annoyance do the decision making here. MAN: I’ve
never met a Christian who hasn’t tried to make me feel guilty over my lack of
beliefs. Ever. THEM: Ever? WOMAN: Yes,
that’s what I said. THEY: But
that’s simply not true. MAN: (sarcastically)
And why is that? THEM: Because
she never tried to convert you when you were alive. Not once. WOMAN: (shocked)
‘When I was alive’? THEY: Yeah… (There is a
small pause as MAN and WOMAN take in this information.) MAN: But… this
place doesn’t exist. WOMAN: I was
so sure there would be more clouds. And a really beautiful gate. THEY/THEM:
That’s not the first time we’ve heard that. MAN: Wait… you
said I knew her in life? THEM: Yeah. WOMAN: Like,
in passing? THEY: No,
pretty well actually. Take a look. (MAN and
WOMAN shyly look over their shoulders at each other, search each other’s faces
for recognition, then turn back to their respective companions. WOMAN shakes
her head; MAN shrugs.) THEY: He’s
your husband. THEM: She was
your wife. MAN: F**k off! WOMAN: Bullshit! MAN: I would
remember my wife! WOMAN: I would
recognize my husband! THEY: Really?
You actually think so? THEM: Because
you just took a good look, and nothing registered. MAN: Because
it’s not her! THEY: You
stand by that? WOMAN: Of
course I do, we were married for eight years of our lives! MAN: Of course
I do, I’ve loved her for the last forty years of my life! THEM: Then why
didn’t you recognize her? WOMAN:
Because---- because---- THEY: Because
you can recognize his face, his body. His physical form. But he doesn’t have
that here. Neither of you do. THEM: And to
know someone’s soul is something else entirely. WOMAN: But, I
did know him. I knew him so well. THEY/THEM: Did
you? THEY: You
forget… just as you didn’t recognize him, he didn’t recognize you either. This
is why you’re here. To get to know each other’s soul. MAN: Why does
any of that matter anymore? You said yourself, we’re not alive. THEM: Forgiveness
and understanding always matters. WOMAN: What is
there to forgive? MAN: What is
there to understand? (THEY and
THEM both give their respective human a knowing look, but don’t say anything.
THEY turns WOMAN, and THEM turns MAN, and they gently push the couple towards
each other. Both MAN and WOMAN are nervous. They get closer, and closer, until
they are standing mere inches apart. They stare into each other’s eyes for a
small, quiet moment, then at the same time, they both intake breath, as if
about to speak. Blackout.
End.) © 2024 Chrissie MuldoonAuthor's Note
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Chrissie MuldoonBelfast, Down, United KingdomAboutHI! I'm a Canadian who is living in Northern Ireland with my equally Northern Irish husband :) I'm a theatre school graduate with a diploma in acting and playwriting, and currently work as an online E.. more..Writing
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