Falling

Arrival and departure of love

Snow

F
A
L
L
I
N
G

In Love

Layers
layers
getting deeper and deeper

In love

Crazy...stormy...white out conditions

Blinded...by love

Snow melting and fading

Love into nothing

Ground underneath...frozen...too hard for growth
Heart...cold...shutoff to blossoming love

Author's Note

Grammar not a concern

Reviews

[Marilyn Philips]

Overall, this is a really nice poem.

For your second "layers" and "getting deeper and deeper", I would consider capitalizing those lines to make them consistent with the rest of the lines (which are all capitalized), and consider breaking up some of the lines that have ellipses - maybe giving them their own lines, or even a couple of lines in between each for visual appeal/show the isolation of the icy heart, so to speak.

[Short Lip Fuser]

Thanks Marilyn for your review. I didn't even notice the lack of capitalization and like he suggestion on the lines with ellipses.

[Hatter]

I like the way you wrote falling.

[Gaia Octavia]

A blizzard is a great metaphor for love as much as it is for a hardened heart. Great imagery throughout and I loved the layers of snow/love getting deeper until it's all-consuming and you can't see a way through the thick of it. A heart of ice is much more hopeful than a heart of stone; a heart of ice can thaw over time. Great work, keep writing! ☺

[Short Lip Fuser]

Thanx for your comments. Nice observation about the "heart of ice". As with the cycles of the seasons and the arrival of spring bringing on the thawing of the ground, the "heart of ice" will also eventually thall. I debated about whether I would continue the poem in that vein but just decided to stop where I did.

[Gaia Octavia]

I think you made the right decision. Plus, that can be a theme for another poem! hehe

[LeFilez]

I like the sad but soft and calming imagery and the uncluttered feel.

[mickeroo]

Positives: I really liked the beginning with the vertical "falling".

Negatives: I feel like you used too many ellipses. Maybe switch it up with some commas to show pauses.