Collected Adjectives

Poem describing the end of a relationship with a lover.

Collected Adjectives

Sad, from feeling a massive loss.

Mad, if your stubbornness or pride is the thing that stood in the way of you showing me your full commitment to “us”.

Frustrated, that it may be due to bad communication.

Disquieted, because labeling it a “first world problem” implies it’s not that important to you.

Discomforted, because if you’ll “be fine”, then you don’t need me as much as I want to be needed.

Self-loathing, if I missed understanding that I wanted this so much more than you.

Mystified, if your lack of self worth kept you from believing that I really wanted you, you, you.

Foolish, if I let aspiration lead me to fantasy rather than reality.

Chagrined, that I put my feelings out there so rawly, and still you didn’t ever really believe.

Embarrassed, if any of my romantic words or deeds made me look like a fool.

Confounded, that there’s something about you that I just don’t get.

Ashamed, if I’ve failed to follow a take-more-risks path.

Empty, for not having your lusciousness in my arms.

Aching, from missing the way you respond to my touch.

Curious, as to whether I satisfied you in bed.

Bored, without your unique and independent world view.

Incomplete, because the only thing I remember you saying you like about me is my “big brain”.

Unfulfilled, because you don’t show me a depth of emotional attachment that matches mine.

Surprised, that you would give up and walk away so easily.

Hurt, at feeling dismissed.

Exasperated, that you tell me what you think I decided, and it’s so wrong.

Perplexed, that you hung in so long but, at the moment I would become "available” for a “normal” relationship, put up new barriers, only saw hard work ahead, weren’t just over-the-moon ecstatic.

Certain, that some of the above is correct and some not.

Confused, just plain confused.

Grateful, for your grace.

Elated, by the chance I had to feel deep romantic love.

Defeated, and I’m not even sure by what.

Sad, sad, sad, sad, sad.

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