Redneck Culture

Redneck Culture

Written by: T.L. O’Neal

 

Whether they come from

The North or from the South

Rednecks abound everywhere

You can tell by their dirty mouths

 

Cussing, chewing and spitting

To beat the ever-loving band

While carrying a cold beer

In a more than dirty hand

 

Loud and abrasive

In the language that they use

Not much on manners

Or the clothes that they choose

 

Ignorance is their way

Too dumb to learn anything new

They thump on their Bible

While taking a big chew

 

With anyone different

They’re as bigoted as hell

Don’t get along with anyone

Unless they all smell

 

Living on booze, cheese,

And pork skins too

Watching Jerry Springer

Finding someone to sue

 

In their front yard

Old Ford up on blocks

Dirty ball cap sideways

Thinking they’re all jocks

 

They strut their stuff

With style and grace

Showing Green teeth

With a nasty face

 

Their bravado is something

All trying to be big men

Drinking always to excess

Looking like stupid bumpkins

 

Watching that Nascar

On the TV screen

Hunting and shooting

Just to be mean

 

Not much on brushing teeth

Or on the body hygiene

A new bar of soap

Probably never been seen

 

Barefoot and pregnant

Is the new way to be

If you want to live

Off the government for free

 

Them being inbred

Is just a relative thing

Doing it with your cousin

Leaves them all smiling

 

Living in a trailer park

Must surely be neat

Watching the tornados hit

While in your bare feet

 

Living this life of leisure

Must certainly be fun

Just remember when…

You see the cops, RUN!

 

Reviews

[Otto L.n. Pipgras]

when you can rise above the b.s. and learn to accept the indigenous hereditary facts (and the myopic blinders of those yankee thouroughbreds) then you'll be able to laugh at yourself in the mirror....(at least thats one of the reasons I use to tell myself why I'm laughing) funny write that gets up close and personal with a little attitude and some serious underlinings. I enjoyed this one T. thanks for sending.

[Jesse Lynn]

You had me cracking up with this one. Not all of them are this bad, tho. Best part:

"Watching that Nascar
On the TV screen
Hunting and shooting
Just to be mean "

You forgot to mention the tshirts that don't quite cover the beer bellies, and scratching themselves through their dirty whity tighties.

[Doug Case]

Barefoot and pregnant
Is the new way to be
If you want to live
Off the government for free

That's probably my favorite stanza. I've always enjoyed redneck jokes, although I'm not sure why - perhaps because they're easy - not to say anything against this parody, though; I'm still chuckling at my desk. I'm confused, however, why you kept reverting to their lack of dental hygeine...it got weird after awhile. Other than that, though, a great pleasure to read!

[Marc Mccune]

This is written, as if from the point of view of one of those very same rednecks, describing folks in his own neighbor. In that sense, it's funny.
Otherwise, [- - < - - - - - - - ] Likemeter�

[Katie B]

Ha ha funny. Nice flow, reminds me of a beware of story. Had a lot of funny imagery

[Kevin Connolly]

Their bravado is something
All trying to be big men
Drinking always to excess
Looking like stupid bumpkins

Not much on brushing teeth
Or on the body hygiene
A new bar of soap
Probably never been seen

Barefoot and pregnant
Is the new way to be
If you want to live
Off the government for free

Living this life of leisure
Must certainly be fun
Just remember when�
You see the cops, RUN!

LOL. There are people like this in my hometown too - society's spongers, or the great unwashed. Here they get pregnant on purpose at 16, are given a house, rent-free, and they'll never need to work for the rest of their lives (they fake illnesses galore too).
This should wind a few people up, Terry (being from the country, I'm one of Ireland's rednecks). Great stuff.

[Steve Scrivens]

I was introduced to Jeff Foxworthy's musings about a year or so back and just found him hilarious. This poem made me howl in places and given we don't have rednecks (yet) in the UK, it was pretty cool that the humour leapt across the pond so well.

[Lyric Laceile, People A..]

Surviving in Dallas for the past few years, I drove a sportscar that rednecks loved to tail-gate in their BUBBA trucks. I wrote this large sign in huge red letters that I would lean out of my window and hold up for them that read:
"IF YOU DON'T GET OFF MY A*S MY AK-47 WILL TAKE ON A LIFE OF ITS OWN".
That seemed to work well. I'm five feet tall and 115 soaking wet but they quit f*****g with me.
Well done!

[Kchung]

Very nicely written about the rednecks of the world. Sad part is, they'd probably think this is a compliment. Funny stuff here.

[the eyeball kid]

dude i found this poem to be pretty funny. it was good.

[Sandy M. Mestdagh]

This is great. Quite funny and right on how I think Redneck's act.
And this line here:
" Loud and abrasive
In the language that they use
Not much on manners
Or the clothes that they choose "

Very well. I know sooooooo many people like that it makes me wonder if they are part redneck too. Great job on this. I really enjoyed it and goodluck with your poem in the contest!