Aren't You "Special"

Aren’t You “Special”

Written by: T. L. O’Neal

 

In the real outside world

There you have no place

So you live your measly life

Out there in cyberspace

 

A lonely existence that you live

Posing as a somebody

When you know that…

You’re just a nobody

 

No one can see

Who you really are

Your face isn’t seen

Hiding behind your avatar

 

So you put down others

To build yourself up

Your soul is damaged

And your mind corrupt

 

You can’t learn life

Living in your mother’s basement

You must live in the real world

And with that comes talent

 

You know who you are

There’s no need to name names

Just punk-a*s kids

You’re all the same

 

When it’s all said and done

And nothing else to do

The monitor flickers off

And all that’s left is you

 

Reviews

[Christopher Tait]

Funny stuff. Funny 'cause it's true. And sad. I've dealt with those types of people before.

Some suggestions:
"Hiding behind your avatar"--possibly drop "Hiding" just to tighten the line up.
"Living in your mother�s basement"--another tightening suggestion, make it "Living in mother's basement" or just "In mother's basement."

Those are the two that stuck out to me. I think it'd make the lines a bit snappier. Then again, I could be full of it. It's up to you. Either way, good job with this.

[Donna Jones]

this is our new reality.....people now meet on cyberspace where you can be anything or anyone you want to be..it is so sad.....

[Windandsummer]

Wow this speaks so much to our world today its not funny. How many times growing up did I pretend to be someone I wasn't online just because at the time it seemed exciting. Great job!!~Bee

[Wulfstan Crumble]

Well without this laptop there is literally just me here right now... So this poem feels very poignant for me. Though i do wonder how much more i could have written if i were not connected to the internet.

[Nicholas Reed]

This seems like a message that should be sent to every messageboard troll in existence. It's so easy to criticize without putting any thought beyond "you suck" into it, and the noise of the rabble overwhelms those who choose to think things through and intelligently phrase their responses. Well done on calling them out on their b.s.

[Gandré]

I felt little bit that you were talking about me, " In the real outside world / There you have no place / So you live your measly life /Out there in cyberspace".

I like it, how you speak about the ravages of time.

I liked it very much.

[Jonathan Weiss]

Must we not have compassion for our brothers and sisters?
Your point is well-taken, TL, but these people might otherwise be involved in baser things.

I like Christopher's suggestion for tightening the meter in several spots, and I do like the concept and use of avatar In S3.

[Jennie French]

I agree. There are alot of people who put on a false front online. They try to make up a totally different personally than who they are in real life. I think maybe another meaning to this could be the people who live on the internet. Who basically spend all their time online, doing whatever. But they let cyberspace be their life, and they don't have anything outside of it. It seems to me like a warning to those kind of people. That after the monitor is off, they have to deal with real life, which they probably aren't prepared for because of all their time spent in a fake universe. I like this poem alot. I'm always envious of people who can rhyme and not make it sound forced. This had a really great flow to it. I enjoyed it.

[Nicole M. Isabella]

Very true! Isn't it amazing the things that people say to a perfect stranger...when hidden behind a computer screen? What I loved about this piece...clear...to the point...no misunderstanding! Great!

[Mishel Rosario Reyes]

he he, you go Terry! Mishel :)~