brainvomit

Straight from my composition book. This is the unedited version of my brain, before it is turned into a song/poem.

Looking back, I didn't know what I was talking about, but at least then I meant what I said.

 

I'm going to write a book. It will be called, I Hate My Life But Only Sometimes and noone will buy it because it sounds stupid, or maybe they will buy it because today I saw that my sister was reading a book called Top 8 which happens to be about Myspace and who the f**k wants to read about Myspace. Maybe people want to read about Myspace because they have a myspace, and maybe everyone will buy my book because they hate their lives sometimes too.

 

I want to take an unnecessary shower for an unnecessarily long amount of time.

I will sit down in my shower,

even though that grosses me out because thats where I pee sometimes,

and I will unscrew my scalp

and fill my head up with water

until tiny fairies fly out of my faucet and give me a better idea for a book than

I Hate My Life, But Only Sometimes.

 

At least this hasn't been about Myspace.

 

When I come back from this epic shower, I will have 400 unread text messages from 400 different friends

and my room will be spotless

and the neighborhood will be gone,

and instead there will be big giant stars floating around

and they will be pissed, cause I'm floatin on their turf

"sorry", I'll say

and go back to hide in my tub

and wish my mom hadn't flushed all my pot.

 

I reread your letter today. I felt better than I had in days.

I saw you at the grocery store yesterday. I went away. I saw other things.

 

Watching the fifth shark attack movie in a row.

I wasted five dollars and 31 cents on a sandwich I did not want.

I burped through some semi-phone sex.

I still havent cleaned my room.

the Taking Back Sunday/Weezer/Blink 182/Fall Out Boy/Panic At The Disco show I was supposed to go to today got cancelled.

I hate everyone.

Brand New is a really good band.

Josh decided I was right all along

for the fourth time in a row.

I look at too much porn I think. I know.

All I really want out of life is a bright eyed comedian that grows his own pot.

 

I want to write music. I want people to wait on my new upcoming album, and buy tickets to my show. I want them to ask for my autograph. I want them to know all the words to all my songs and sing them with me. I want them to cry because they can't believe they found someone that could put exactly what they were feeling into words, AND add a backbeat. I want them to listen to my songs alone in their rooms with it turned up loud. I want their parents to get pissed off. I want to make people feel better. I want to write the perfect song noone gets tired of. I want some faith in the American dream. I wish I could narrow it down to one dream.

 

 

baptized in dirty water

death is easy

waiting is torture.

 

Gnats everywhere in my room.

ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK

Gnat-zi's. ahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhaha!

 

I want to take down every picture in my room and put them in a pile in the middle of my floor. I want to have a bon-fire. I want to take off every secret or lie I have clinging to me, like a second skin, and maybe, eventually, finally, get one true, honest look at myself. I want to be a stranger. I want everyone to be a stranger to me.

 

I havent really known myself since elementary school.

 

 

I heard my brothers voice today.

Noone was home.

 

 

You're the only person I've ever put before myself.

Your flaws are beautiful.

For over a year, you've kept me up at night.

You made me question my strongest beliefs, and the way I live my life.

You gave me stomach cramps that last longer than my headaches and butterflies that expire in seconds.

I've written you more songs than I've ever written anyone, and you're the only boy I've ever shown them to.

You make me feel like s**t.

You make me feel safe.

I hope to God love is better than this.

 

 

Am I saying this because I mean it? or am I saying this because it rhymes?

 

 

By the way, I'm out of things to say.

Reviews

[Hedra Helix]

did you take out the carpet reference? Or am I missing it?

Youre so much like tinder, everything you touch catches fire in your brain. You make me jealous is a great way. Please please please write a book. I'm dyin to own it. I know it will be fresh every time I pick it up.

[Jaclyn]

S**t, you amaze me! How old are you? You've got a brilliant, crazy, beautiful mind. When I do my brain vomits, I don't have any of those strange thoughts, and I so wish I did. I wish I could write fast enough to unedit the editing in my head like this. It's so honest, so painful...Sure, this is random and people could say that it is just that, random and pointless, but it has a certain symmetry to it...I don't know what I'm trying to say. Loved it though.

[Chris T.]

Brilliant.
Sorry my review isn't dissecting it, but I thought it really was just...brilliant. period.

[R J Askew]

great title. spot on. editing destroys spontoneity. some wld say that is good. some not.

[Zatoichi]

one of your best, imho.

[Hedra Helix]

Ps, my carpet looked just like that. Just.

[Hedra Helix]

Thanks, this was a gift,
and a great trip all in one,
and still you manage to be clever about how yer thoughts B worded 2.

Chloe youre like a 7 /11, too much good s**t.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I liked this, it was pure spontanaiety. The craziness resulting really has a wonderful serrated edge to it! Fabulous!