Drunk Elevators.

You made me promise to stay in that too tall grass

but I was long gone by the time the chiggers arrived.

Elevators only travel at one slow speed,

which is incredibly inconveinent for those of us

escaping from our insatiable dreams.

They caught me in bed with reality,

flirting with their cute brother sobriety.

I asked Mr. Roger why he still goes on those walks,

he told me that the sun rises when his dogs chest doesnt.

I told him I'd rather stay in bed all day

than admit to myself theres anything that needs finding.

Tripping up the stairs, in every meaning of the word

Words with spare daggers strapped to their thighs

and swords clenched between their teeth

climbing the ropes like pirates to my drunken brain

But I'll never be as bad as John.

Slurping down Smirnoff just so he can feel real.

I'd rather feel phony than admit to myself theres any better way of living.

and now I'm just about completely asleep

before the pounding bass picks me up by my hair

and opens my eyes and makes me realize

I made it home afterall.

 

 

Author's Note

this is one more sleepless night.

Reviews

[lark]

I asked Mr. Roger why he still goes on those walks,
he told me that the sun rises when his dogs chest doesnt.
I told him I'd rather stay in bed all day
than admit to myself theres anything that needs finding.
I'm just about completely asleep
before the pounding bass picks me up by my hair
and opens my eyes and makes me realize
I made it home afterall.

Dig this.
All of it.

[Hedra Helix]

p.s. I hang like a pro with jumpy, im the last one to ask on that subject. I liked this lots.

[Hedra Helix]

damn that's f*****g awesome. I like when you save up.

They caught me in bed with reality,
(and/re?) flirting with their cute brother sobriety.
I asked Mr. Roger(s?) why he still goes on those walks,
he told me that the sun rises when his dogs chest doesnt.

[Ari]

There are some good pieces in here, but you're right that it's pretty jumpy. It doesn't seem to flow at all, and I had to keep re-starting. I tried a similar idea, and wrote after taking Nyquil. You might try reading my "Straightjacket" and see if it makes any sense to you. I really like what you're working on here, but I don't think that this piece works very well.