Captain Crunch and Dirty Underwear.

George.

If this was once upon a time,

and I was a damsel and you werent my distress,

maybe instead of sitting at my computer

eating Captain Crunch out of an oversized bowl

rotting in my underwear and hatred for you

I'd be running outside right now

I'd throw open your car door

grab your gorgeous face in my shaking hands

suck the doubt right out of your lungs

and prove to you with one kiss this has nothing to do with fate.

Maybe it would even start raining,

Maybe we'd even start crying,

Maybe we'd end up in a passionate love scene,

which would then be followed by the rolling of credits

and a gag reel full of s****y acting.

Cause this is just s****y acting,

and I'm bleeding to death one period at a time

and last time I ran after you the carpet tried to eat my feet.

So my a*s is glued to this computer chair

guzzling down leftover milk and smoking myself to lung cancer

to the sound of your car tires scraping out of my driveway.

 

Author's Note

I'm tired of my good ideas turning to shit.

Reviews

[Zatoichi]

6/19/18
Re-reading this from 10+ years ago
hoping that you continue to write
remembering how clever you could be.

[Last Lying Look]

"If this was once upon a time,

and I was a damsel and you werent my distress,"

I like that part. It's kinda sharp. I lovereading your work already. can't wait to get to some more. :D

[No]

i love how incredibly straightfoward and honest your work is,
because it tells itself like a story, and you don't need any fancy words or allusions to tell it because it's perfect the way it is.
i know exactly how i can imagine you felt while you were writing it.
i know it helps me when people post their favorite lines, partially because i'm extremely vain and like to see my work being praised, so i'm going to post mine..
"I'd be running outside right now
I'd throw open your car door
grab your gorgeous face in my shaking hands
suck the doubt right out of your lungs
and prove to you with one kiss this has nothing to do with fate."

and
"and last time I ran after you the carpet tried to eat my feet."

love it.

[Hedra Helix]

why dont more ppl read your s**t? weird.

[Hedra Helix]

shut up about your s**t, I havent come upon any yet that stinks.. b***h. ha ha.

here ya go old shcool edit:


If this was once upon a time,

and I was a damsel and you weren(')t my distress,

maybe instead of sitting at my computer

eating Captain Crunch out of an oversized bowl

rotting in my underwear and hatred for you

[peace SiGN./index DOWN.]

you are such a good writer.
i love reading your poems.

[Zatoichi]

suck the doubt right out of your lungs an incredible line

this line:
I'm tired of my good ideas turning to s**t.
can't figure that out. if you're referencing the quality of your effort here, then you're too hard on yourself. you pursue literary studies and you could have a career as a writer.
i hope you hang out with equally ambitious people because that can make the difference for you.
this is a great poem. Z

[Zatoichi]

you have the mind of a poet
life is a melody and you're writing the lyrics
you're scary rich with imagination
you inspire me

live long and prosper

[Wisconsin]

'good.'

I like it, I think you're a good writer. You hold yourself to really high standards.