Hedra Helix

Don't bother reading if your not a asian woman with no a*s named Hedra.

You'll never see a white girl eat as much Chinese food as me, so you can guess my surprise when the Chinese place down the street was closed. I know their store hours by heart, and I was pissed I wouldnt be able to get my Chicken Lo Mein or egg rolls tonight. I decided to sit outside the store and wait for someone to open it up.

All of a sudden, a very gangster looking car drove by with a asian woman in the passenger seat. They drove slow and she squinted her eyes at me, and I felt very threatened. They drove by several more times before they eventually parked, and 6 Asian people all hopped outta the gangster car. They came up to the shop and opened it up, but one stayed behind. The one who had given me her death look.

"The f**k you doin outside my store, homie?", she said.

"The f**k you doin given me the squinty eye?" I asked.

"IM ASIAN YOU DUMBASS! My eyes are permanantly squinted!" she told me, simultaneously[sp] pulling out her knife, ready to cut me. "Step through that door and I'll cutcha."

"Ask your mother if I can have the happy ending," I said, as I ran for my life because those asian women are physically unpredictable, ya know.

She got in her car and drove after me,  making fun of my mother that works at Wal-Mart.

Eventually, my fat a*s got outta breath so I stopped to take a breather. Not smart when theres crazy asian women driving after you with knives. She got out of the car, and her buns and thighs video fell out of the car before she got a chance to shut the door.

I started laughing and she said, "The f**k is so funny?"

"HAHAHA  you have no a*s."

"I'm.. I'm.. I'm building one! At least mine isnt big enough to be a drainplug for the Atlantic Ocean!" and that's when she ripped off her skin. Yes, she ripped off her skin. She was actually a shark. Good thing sharks are next to harmless out of water.

So I walked back to her families store where I ordered my Chicken Lo Mein, and some good 'ol fried shark.

 

Author's Note

hope that cheers you up.

Reviews

[Hedra Helix]

It did!!!
haha thats f*****g awesome;)!!

omg!! i think you just fixed me;)

best laugh ive had in days;) love ya dude! thanks!

and yo, I am building myself a very nice a*s thank you very much, when i get to hawaii ill make a video;)




btw, this part is simultaneously the best part and completely improbable

"Ask your mother if I can have the happy ending," I said, as I ran for my life because those asian women are physically unpredictable, ya know.