Face.

Please Read. Its funny how one person you love and hate so much can change your life.

Skin;

cluttered with freckles

burnt and red

from hard work under the sun

her garden really was

the only thing that gave back

 

Hair;

frizzy and brown

curls that could strangle a horse

untamed and uncared for

who needs beautiful hair

when youve got a beautiful mind

 

Lips;

Pressed tightly together

as if that will keep everything in

They still turn white from the pressure

when the doors start to slam.

 

Eyebrows;

Just an interruption

from all those wrinkles

wrinkles from smiling

and wrinkles from too much stress.

wrinkles from me.

 

 

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Zatoichi]

i hope she read and loved this as much as i. i am enjoying reading your older posts, many for the first time. you really are a talented writer and an awesome soul. j

[[untitled]]

Awesome format! Somehow, I feel the FBI has tutored you...
Anywho...

I love the metaphor on the second stanza. OMG, I have never heard of cirls strangling a horse! Very unique!
The ending brought a suprise. Shocking. Now I feel like crying... and I don't know why. Makes me think of a person I love so much... but hate when they come to mind. There is never a simple feeling. They are all mixed in a way. I can relate.

[Amanda]

an interesting depition of someone in your life that is special to you...sometimes, despite how much you hate someone, you can love them all the more.

...and sometimes, all you can do is sigh and think of them.

a good read....amanda

[Tim McGovern]

I really like this.
The first verse is weak compared to the rest.
"curls that could strangle a horse

untamed and uncared for

who needs beautiful hair

when you've got a beautiful mind"

I read that 3 times and each time i thought " Damn that's a great metaphor"

If you rewrote the first verse, maybe got rid of " sprinkled" and "burnt and red", those words are overused.
you'd have a really strong poem.

Nice job
Namaste'
Tim