Hurting

A short poem I wrote the other day

I just wanna scream
I just wanna shout
I just wanna let all these thoughts out
I want you to hurt
I want you to burn
I want you to feel just like I do

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad, and the lyrical quality of this is a nice touch. It is a tad short, however, and the brevity isn't exactly the sort that works for this. I think you ought to expand this - what you have currently would be a good first stanza.

[Chloe Solomon]

Thank you so much, and I agree 100% about the length thing.

[Michael Corkill]

I agree that this work is short. However I think it is a great start. Writing began for me purely as a form of expression/ release. The wonderful thing is that as you write more and more you will get better and better.Writing what you feel inside is always good and good for you too. I am sure you have found yourself reading your own work and seeing that what you wrote holds even more meaning than the subject you wrote about. I just love your enthusiasm. keep it up!