Be Free

that guy that thinks he should be able to control you and your every move...

Trapped in a cage,

With no escape,

You feed me through the cracks,

And cover my cage at night,

No matter how much I scream,

Or fight,

You won't let me out,

I'm stuck in this cage,

I just wanna be free,

To roam about,

And find my own,

But you won't let me,

You say I'll live longer,

If I live inside,

But if this is living,

I want to die,

There's no point in living like this,

Alone,

With you,

I just wanna be free,

So I'll keep screaming,

And fighting,

Until you set me free.

Author's Note

I know there are some weak spots, wrote it in math, so please tell me corrections you think should be made...

Reviews

[*Evelen*]

I think that you don't need to fix it at all. There is no weak spots that I can see. From the beginning and to the end it was very strong and powerful. Well done=)

[cheeeeese]

I don't think you need to change it at all, I really liked it and you described the feeling really well. I felt like I was actually in the thoughts of the person and not just on the outside watching them. Loved this piece.

[Sexy P3nguin]

It is a really good write. It has great description and it really gives the reader the feeling of being trapped. It also has such great depth I can visualize what your writing. Great job

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the poem. I could feel the desire to escape in your words. No wasted words in this poem. Would be fun to read a loud. Many strong lines in this poem. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Keriun]

"You say I'll live longer,
If I live inside,
But if this is living,
I want to die"
was my favorite part :)

The rest of it was fine, but I think it could have ended more powerfully with "Until I break free" ^^

[deeps]

This is quite the pwoerful well written write here.
I can feel your emotions pour out. This is very well written