Little do I remember how red turned grey

A memoir of childhood love and innocence.

                   

May 2016

It was the same place as it had always been. The house and park stood there still like a river that had stopped flowing since ages. But many things had changed near this house when I returned. After two years when I returned to this place, I saw that nothing was same in that house. Some people were replaced in it, and also from heart. Some things were replaced by others. In fact I saw a great change in my room too. The things that used to be on my study desk were replaced and my books were somewhere beneath a table studded with dust all over it.  Moreover, my diary was replaced by laptop. With time, I learnt that life keeps moving on even if we lose our self somewhere in a golden past of our life.

Everything was different two years back. In those days, many things were intact in my life. The park in front of my house used to be lush and green. Like before, today also it is filled with children…but do I recognize anybody over there? The park has lost its greenery, and the road…seems as though it is painted with grey.  Someday flowers used to blossom in this lost desert. Those days of laughter and fun… They ring in my ears till today. One year back, life was just crystal perfect. Family, relationships, friends, love… the portrait of life was just so perfect. Who knew that someday this portrait will be ruined by some unexpected colors? Who knew that red will be replaced by black for the rest of my life?! With time, I learnt life may keep moving on, but some things can never be changed or replaced by other. They become our root cause of living.

Whenever I searched my love and tried to uproot it, every time I found it beneath the soil rooted hard to my heart. And with time I learnt that it is something that cannot be uprooted from my heart. But they always give me a heart-ache  �"  those past memories. I still wonder what made this red turn grey!

                   

June, 2016

I hardly understand what I am doing with my life. I am getting it too difficult to tame my mind positively. I hope all goes well after two days. As I will be back to a place which I hate the most. I wish if the sun becomes less bitter with my life. I am really confused what to do and what not to do. Again I will be in my so called dungeon which sucks me every night. Life is simpler but still I don’t understand the complications that approach me every minute of my life. I miss my childhood sweetheart. I wish if everything turned the same way like before! I wish if love made me become happy every minute like before! Life seems to have become more harder than before. Nothing seems to be the same way as they used to be. And what swept off my feet is my childhood love which is nothing more than a fairy tale in my present life. I wonder how can I ever forget the one I have spent half of my life with! Will those summer and winter holidays ever come and hug me like before. Will those bats ever trouble us like they used to when we played hide n sick! Will he ever peep into my front window and watch me wearing mehendi with a smile! Will those rendezvous meetings in backyard ever come back in my life! I wonder who will eat kulfi with me once again! And I wish if we all whisper in Chinese once again.